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Band 4.5

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #access #information
It seems to be
a
Suggestion
an
increasily
spreadwide
Suggestion
spread wide
 concern that the
internet
 and the
information
 that it brings have been changing the
people
Suggestion
peoples'
 lives.
Nevertheless
, that can bring both, good
thing but
Accept comma addition
thing, but
also
 bad things for our
currently
Suggestion
current
 days.
Nowaday
Suggestion
Nowadays
, people run in their
lives
Accept comma addition
lives, such
such
 as with study, working, and trying to
achive
to gain with effort
achieve
 what the society stand as a standard.
For instance
, we deeply know that teenager
have
Suggestion
has
 the "must" thinking
aboult
(of quantities) imprecise but fairly close to correct
about
 to buy the most recently
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
avalible
obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service
available
 in the trades. We
also
 can observe
a
Suggestion
an
incriasing
becoming greater or larger
increasing
 hunt for social "likes" through the social
midia
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
avalible
obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service
available
in
Suggestion
on
 the
internet
. People that try to flee
of
Suggestion
from
this
usualy
under normal conditions
usually
usual
 realise with more ease the damage that
our
plural of "I"
we
 currently days give for us. Many
cientists
a person with advanced knowledge of one or more sciences
scientists
contests
 stand that we never have
before so
Accept comma addition
before, so
 much mental
helth
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
heath
 issues, and
many
Suggestion
much
 of
that is
 for the overdose of the
information
 that we have access every day,
researchs
systematic investigation to establish facts
research
tell
Suggestion
tells
 us that the
infomation
a message received and understood
information
 that we have in one day today is the same amount that one king of the 18
centrury
a period of 100 years
century
 had in one year.
One
Suggestion
On
 another
had
place into the hands or custody of
hand
, today the
internet
give
Suggestion
gives
 to us the
oportunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
opportunities
 and knowledge
for
Suggestion
in
we
of or belonging to us
our
 search for a better style live,
for
instance we
Accept comma addition
instance, we
 can research about how to lose our shame, or how to make a correct
fisical
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
 exercise, and even how to speak another
lenguage
a systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols
language
, or make a cake.
Besides
, the
internet
 can bring us near to our parents that are living
in
Suggestion
on
 the
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 side
to
Suggestion
of
in
 the world, through video chats we can speak
wirh
expresses the means used
with
 them and see them in real time. In a nutshell, we know that the pressure of our community in the present day
is not ease
Suggestion
does not ease
 to deal with, and the increased access to
information
 makes it harder to keep in
a
Suggestion
an
avarege
approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value
average
 of the "social level". But it
is depend
Suggestion
depends
of
Suggestion
on
 us to use
this
information
 and tool (
internet
) for our good or not, we need to have balance and good sense.
Submitted by eng.matheus.hagemann on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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