Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with a growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Refute this claim.

Over the past 5 decades, there has been an upsurge in crime rates among young adults, so, many people believe that
this
is due to the presence of violent media. In my view, I believe
this
is not completely correct since people have the right to choose what to watch and who to associate with. It is true that there is an increase in the presence of violent media making people believe that, the consequence is, a rise in unacceptable
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
among young people, but I disagree. People have the power of choice, so, they can decide what to watch.
For instance
, they have the right to make decisions on their own, so, they can as well choose to watch only images that portray positive
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. Another reason why I disagree with the opinion of young people acting based on what they watch is that, youths are prone to the use of banned substances,
such
as marijuana, cannabis, and cocaine.
For example
, the constant use of these illicit substances interferes with the functioning of the Central Nervous System, which eventually causes behavioural attitudes that are violent.
Finally
, people have the freedom of association
,
Accept space
,
so
,
Accept space
,
they choose who to relate with.
Therefore
, if young adults decide to associate with their peers who exhibit acceptable
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
behaviour
,
Accept space
,
then
, the issue of violent media solely leading to a rise in violent
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
behaviours
among youths cannot be substantiated. So, the association youths keep is one of the factors that eventually determines how they act, think, and behave. In conclusion, despite many people holding the notion of young adults being totally influenced by a rise in violent media, I believe,
however
, that the company youths keep
go
Suggestion
going
a long way in influencing their actions, as well as knowing that adults have the right to decide what relationships they should keep.
Submitted by philiporobosa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: