Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with a growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Refute this claim.

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Over the past 5 decades, there has been an upsurge in crime rates among young adults, so, many people believe that

this

Linking Words

is due to the presence of violent media. In my view, I believe

this

Linking Words

is not completely correct since people have the right to choose what to watch and who to associate with. It is true that there is an increase in the presence of violent media making people believe that, the consequence is, a rise in unacceptable

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

among young people, but I disagree. People have the power of choice, so, they can decide what to watch.

For instance

Linking Words

, they have the right to make decisions on their own, so, they can as well choose to watch only images that portray positive

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

. Another reason why I disagree with the opinion of young people acting based on what they watch is that, youths are prone to the use of banned substances,

such

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as marijuana, cannabis, and cocaine.

For example

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, the constant use of these illicit substances interferes with the functioning of the Central Nervous System, which eventually causes behavioural attitudes that are violent.

Finally

Linking Words

, people have the freedom of association

Accept space

they choose who to relate with.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if young adults decide to associate with their peers who exhibit acceptable

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviours

behaviour

Accept space

then

Linking Words

, the issue of violent media solely leading to a rise in violent

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

among youths cannot be substantiated. So, the association youths keep is one of the factors that eventually determines how they act, think, and behave. In conclusion, despite many people holding the notion of young adults being totally influenced by a rise in violent media, I believe,

however

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, that the company youths keep

Suggestion

going

a long way in influencing their actions, as well as knowing that adults have the right to decide what relationships they should keep.

Submitted by philiporobosa on Sat May 18 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

301 words

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Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with a growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Refute this claim.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

There are not enough recycling bins in your neighborhood. Write a letter to your local council to install more recycling bins. In your letter: - explain the situation; - state its importance to the environment; - ask for more recycling bins.