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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. what are the reason? What can employers do to make their life easier?

#people #work #time #reason #employers #life
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In today's world,
major proportion
Suggestion
a major proportion
the major proportion
 of the community has the obligation to perform the duties for longer
timespan
Suggestion
time span
, which in turn leads to certain basic psychological problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will be discussing the important contributory factors of emotional disturbance prevailing in employees and will suggest some of the feasible measures to be taken by the owner of companies.
To begin
Linking Words
, loneliness is the most crucial element of
vicious cycle
Suggestion
the vicious cycle
 of tension. As the person has to stay in the organization till late evening hours in order to avail the basic amenities of life
,
Accept space
,
 so they get socially
cutoff
Suggestion
cut off
 from the family members, relatives and friends
also
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.
Moreover
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, the people who have migrated from the hometown, rarely get the chance to visit the countryside, not even
on
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for
 any
occassion
an event that occurs at a critical time
occasion
 in the family. To illustrate, one of the recent study conducted by nursing students reveals that the prevalence of depression is more in the workers who are working at distant places.
To
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In
 combat, with the situation, the administrators can arrange some cultural
activities namely
Accept comma addition
activities, namely
 spring
fest
Suggestion
Fest
feast
frost
, Diwali celebration and many more at fixed schedule throughout the year. These traditional events
will provides
Suggestion
will provide
 the feeling of belongingness to the staff. To carry on
further
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, obviously, it is
well known fact
Suggestion
a well known fact
 that sound mind remains in
sound body
Suggestion
a sound body
sound bodies
, so clearly physical fitness
also
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 helps to stabilize the mental
health
Use synonyms
 of the individual. Persons engaged in extra work
,
Accept space
,
 has the scarcity of time to get part in sports and recreational activities, which tends to cause numerous problems related to various vital body organs
such
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 as heart, kidney and many more, adversely affecting the
health
Use synonyms
 of mind. To deal with the problems of declining mental
health
Use synonyms
 as a consequence of impaired physical mobility, management of the company can provide different
health
Use synonyms
 pursuits at economical rate, which tends to increase the standard of living. To sum up, isolation and
detoriation
a symptom of reduced quality or strength
deterioration
 of bodily wellness are the
standouts
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 causing the anxiety and related symptoms among the labours. In order to enhance the mental satisfaction of public servants at
work place
Suggestion
the workplace
workplace
a workplace
, the owner should arrange the various
campaign
Suggestion
campaigns
such
Linking Words
 as cultural
fest
Suggestion
Fest
fees
feist
 and facilities of gym and sports.
Submitted by dhirajkhurana234 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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