IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Caring For Children is very important for our society. therefore all mothers and fathers should take childcare training course. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mothers #fathers #childcare #course
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parenting is a very difficult job and it is of utmost important to perform
this
Linking Words
 job assiduously. Since, children's are the future of a nation,
therefore
Linking Words
 people have
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of aspirations
from
Suggestion
for
 them. So, to make them a good human being it is very necessary to inculcate high moral values and ethics
at
Suggestion
in
 their early age. As all of
this
Linking Words
 is a part of
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
, some people think that the
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 training should be imperative for all mothers and fathers. In my opinion, I agree partially with
this
Linking Words
 notion. To embark on, nowadays nuclear families are more ubiquitous in our cities where both the parents are working.
Hence
Linking Words
, in
such
Linking Words
 families raising a
child
Use synonyms
 is a very challenging task.
Hence
Linking Words
, in
such
Linking Words
cases both
Accept comma addition
cases, both
 father and mother should be obliged to undergo
such
Linking Words
 training
as
Suggestion
at
 any one of them can take
care
Use synonyms
 single-handedly.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 training
also
Linking Words
 helps parents to understand their
child
Use synonyms
 properly, which
otherwise
Linking Words
 is not possible. Because, as these
type
Suggestion
types
 of training are imparted by professionals, they educate people how to handle when a
child
Use synonyms
 cries, what are the sundry reasons of crying and if a
child
Use synonyms
 is crying for prolong time
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 contact a doctor. In case of joint families, there is a privilege that there are other members of
family
Suggestion
the family
too that
Accept comma addition
too, that
 help in taking a good
care
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
. In these families, the elders helps a lot in upbringing of
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
children
the child
a child
. As elders are more experienced in
such
Linking Words
 activities, they teach plenty of things
to
Suggestion
for
 the parents of
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
children
the child
a child
 in terms of taking
care
Use synonyms
 and supervision of
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
children
the child
a child
. Above all, there help is free of cost as
child
Use synonyms
 training people charge fees to train people. To
conlcude
decide by reasoning; draw or come to a conclusion
conclude
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that not all mothers and fathers should take
such
Linking Words
 training. It is only helpful for people living in
nuclear family
Suggestion
nuclear families
a nuclear family
the nuclear family
 and there is no elder for guidance.
Submitted by roopawali98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: