The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
The line graph illustrates information about the proportion of
the
united kingdom tourists who visited certain Brighton attractions in a period of 30 years.
First of all. In 1995, the Correct article usage
apply
visitor
's number to
the pavilion hit Change preposition
of
the
peak Correct article usage
a
almost
50 Change preposition
of almost
percent
. In 1980, the festival was the most popular with over 20% Change the spelling
per cent
while
the pier
was the lowest with less than 10 % of visitors. In 2000, the proportion of festival visitor
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
leveled
off until 2010, Change the spelling
levelled
while
there was a slight increase in the pier
visitor
percent
. The percentage of Replace the word
percentage
the
Art gallery Correct article usage
apply
visitor
dramatically declined to reach approximately 8%in the year of
2010. There was a gradual rise in the amount of Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
pier
visitor
starting from 2005 to 2010.
In conclusion. The number of tourists who prefer to visit the festivals in Brighton remained the same for over 30 years with a steady change. Whilst, between the Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
year
2005 and 2010, the Fix the agreement mistake
years
pier
had become more popular than it was, and overhead the Art gallery.Submitted by asd43214321asd on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitor, pier with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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