The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
The line graph illustrates information about the proportion of
the
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united kingdom tourists who visited certain Brighton attractions in a period of 30 years. First of all. In 1995, the
visitor
's number
to
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of
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the pavilion hit
the
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a
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peak
almost
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of almost
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50
percent
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per cent
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. In 1980, the festival was the most popular with over 20%
while
the
pier
was the lowest with less than 10 % of visitors. In 2000, the proportion of festival
visitor
was
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leveled
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levelled
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off until 2010,
while
there was a slight increase in the
pier
visitor
percent
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percentage
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. The percentage of
the
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Art gallery
visitor
dramatically declined to reach approximately 8%in the year
of
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in
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2010. There was a gradual rise in the amount of
the
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pier
visitor
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visitors
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starting from 2005 to 2010. In conclusion. The number of tourists who prefer to visit the festivals in Brighton remained the same for over 30 years with a steady change. Whilst, between the
year
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years
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2005 and 2010, the
pier
had become more popular than it was, and overhead the Art gallery.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitor, pier with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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