IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
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Firms often ask for minute details about
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job applicant’s
Suggestion
a job applicant’s
 live
such
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 as the pastimes of the applicants as well as their marital statuses.
This
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 has resulted in a controversy where some people insist that
such
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 request for
such
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 personal
information
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 are necessary and should be encouraged while other people, of which category I belong to, argue that
such
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 knowledge about prospective employees should not be available at the firm’s disposal. The reasons for each view will be discussed. There are reasons why some people feel employers should ask for
some
one or some or every or all without specification
any
 private
information
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 about
job
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 seekers. One of
such
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 reasons is that they feel the
information
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 will help the
company
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 to know
intoto
Suggestion
intuitively
intuition
 about any applicant. Companies deserve to know if they are employing maniacs or criminally-inclined people.
For example
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, a man whose extracurricular activity is watching pornography will likely be a danger to female staff in a
company
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. Another reason for people supporting the idea of companies knowing very much about interviewees is that the
company
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 needs to know if the
job
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 is the best fit for an applicant. A woman who has five children will not be suited for a
job
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 which
has long night
Suggestion
has a long night
 shifts.
However
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, there are reasons why I do not subscribe to asking for personal
information
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 of prospective employer. I feel requesting for
such
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 personal details will be encroaching too far into their personal lives. The
last
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 thing I want is for my boss to know that I play video games. Another reason for my stance on
this
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 matter about a
company
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’s knowledge of any
job
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 applicant is that
such
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information
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 about a person does not help to know whether one is competent at a
job
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, and as
such
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 there is no need for
such
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information
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. In conclusion, while some argue that a
job
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 seeker’s personal
information
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 should be submitted to a
company
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 when a person applies for a
job
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, I feel that
such
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 an action should be discouraged as it is unnecessary.
Submitted by ojakelvin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
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