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Writing Samples
Band 5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled tea and pineapples in 2010 and 2015 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled tea and pineapples in 2010 and 2015 in five European countries.
#tables #information #sales #tea #pineapples #five #european #countries
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The two
table
Change to a plural noun
tables
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 illustrates data about the outcomes of selling Fairtrade*-labelled
tea
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 and
Pineapples
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 in five different European
countries
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 (
France
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,
Austria
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,
Germany
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,
Netherland
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Netherlands
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,
Norway
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) in 2010 and 2015,measured
by
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in
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 Euros.
Overall
Linking Words
,
France
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 had by far the highest rate
in
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of
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 selling
Fairtrade labelled
Add a hyphen
Fairtrade-labelled
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tea
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 in total.
while
Linking Words
,
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apply
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Use synonyms
austria
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Austria
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 was significantly ahead in
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pineapples
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pineapple
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sales
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.the least amount of
sales
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 was in
Norway
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 ( Fairtrade labelled
tea
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)and
Germany
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(
pineapples
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). In terms of Fairtrade labelled
tea
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,In 2010,
Austria
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 was the first in selling
this
Linking Words
 product
4
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for 4
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million euros .Which, is twice as many
sales
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 as
Netherland
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Netherlands
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.A slight
differance
Correct your spelling
difference
 had been found between
France
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 and
Germany
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 with
Gremany
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Germany
 slightly forward just less than 500,000.in 2015,
France
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 had the lead with 21 million Euros.
While
Linking Words
 other
countries
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 had a gradual increase in
sales
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Austria
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 had
in
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apply
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impressive progress in
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pineapple
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pineapples
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sales
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 the rate has dramatically increased in 2015
,
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apply
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than
Replace the word
then
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 it was
in
Change preposition
to
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 2010 (48 and 16 respectively).in 2015, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries
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 has a steady growth in
sales
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 of
pineapples
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 exapit,
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Germany
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including Germany
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 and
Norway
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. In conclusion.
While
Linking Words
 other
countries
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 had rose
there
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their
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2015
comperd
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compared
 to that in 2010 in both products.
Germany
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 and
Norway
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 data showed a
dropp
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drop
 in the
sales
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 rate .
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, pineapples, countries, france, austria, germany, norway, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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