Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in need. Others however prefer to give money to national and international charitable organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

While some individuals choose to give help and
support
directly to the needy
,
Accept space
,
others would rather offer
money
to national and international charitable organizations.
Although
,
Accept space
,
giving
money
personally to people who need them creates a relationship between the donor and
reciepient
a person who receives something
recipient
and ensures that the monies are used for its purpose
,
Accept space
,
charitable organizations guarantee fair and equal distribution of funds for needy people and in my opinion
,
Accept space
,
this
is the best method of rendering help. One the one hand
,
Accept space
,
offering help directly to those in need ensures that these funds
gets
Suggestion
get
to the individual in due time.
This
is because it boycotts the barrage of paperwork associated with
release
Suggestion
the release
of funds in charitable organizations.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
it prevents incidences of embezzlement of
money
and corruption because there is no
middleman
Accept comma addition
middle man, therefore
middle man therefore
therefore
,
Accept space
,
the
money
is handed over to the individual who needs it.
For example
,
Accept space
,
over the
last
three months
,
Accept space
,
two directors of Non-
govermental
relating to or dealing with the affairs or structure of government or politics or the state
governmental
organizations have been probed by the economic and financial crimes commission because it was observed that while people donate large sums of
money
towards helping the poor
,
Accept space
,
these men line their pockets with these funds
,
Accept space
,
giving only a minor fraction to the less privileged.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
think that giving monies to charitable organizations is a better way of rendering help because it eliminates bias and ensures fairness in the distribution of resources.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
people may decide to give
money
to only people who they like or who look a certain way.
Also many
Accept comma addition
Also, many
people may end up providing help and
support
to the same individual without knowing
thus
while one person gets
alot
Suggestion
a lot
of help
,
Accept space
,
other needy persons are neglected. Charitable organization
also ensure
Suggestion
also ensures
that a larger number of persons can be helped.
This
is because they are more
organised
Accept comma addition
organised, therefore
therefore
they can
recieve
get something; come into possession of
receive
help and
support
from all over the world and reach out to people not only in their vicinities but
also
in other underdeveloped countries. In
comclusion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
conclusions
,
Accept space
,
while peoples opinion may vary
on
Suggestion
with
the choice of whether to offer help and
support
in person or through national and international charitable organizations
,
Accept space
,
I strongly believe that the latter is much better as resources can be fairly distributed and a larger number of
person
Suggestion
people
persons
can be helped.
Submitted by rachaeloneh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Type your essay and get a band score instantly
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your band scores without paying for expensive tutoring
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.