Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss.

#societies #benefit #country

Nowadays the world is multicultural,

theres

Suggestion

there's

no place where you go or be that will not have someone from another country.

This

is something

that is

growing over the years because of technology, flights are more

accessibles

capable of being reached

accessible

and the mindset of the people has changed. Back to 70s or 60s the world population did not could imagine about travel to another country in another continent, at least the board of

country

Suggestion

a country

the country

that was near where you live, as from Brazil to Argentina

that is

theorically

in theory; according to the assumed facts

theoretically

theatrically

close. With

this

big change from the

last

40 years, the people

has

Suggestion

have

more chance to go to other countries and start a new life

however

keep their culture and sharing whatever they live. The biggest benefit in a multicultural society is the chance to learn with

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

cultures, I'm a big example of that, since I came to Australia I lived with so many persons and different

nationatilies

people having common origins or traditions and often comprising a nation

nationalities

that

this

changed my lifestyle and my

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

life

life's

lives

vision. Is almost impossible to say that the multicultural society is not the future as the world is becoming a total

diversity

Suggestion

diverse

diversified

enviroment

the totality of surrounding conditions

environment

Submitted by alexferla91 on Sat Jun 01 2019

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

185 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Multicultural societies bring more benefit to the country than drawbacks, discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as much as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.