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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #idea #information #research #business #world
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, sharing
information
 is key to the success of many individuals.
however
, many
people
 believe
that is
 good to disclose as much
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
 as possible by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists,
academic
Correct word choice
and academic
show examples
researhcers
Correct your spelling
researchers
.
on the other hand
, some
people
urges
Change the verb form
urge
show examples
that they need to be very careful when sharing
information
.
this
 essay describes both viewpoints.
firstly
,
this
 essay will give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one side of perspective and
secondly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will define the other point of view,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 opposing.
to begin
 with, sharing
inforamtion
Correct your spelling
information
 plays a vital role in research, business and in the academic world.
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
, it helps to grow and gives more chances to explore
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their particular field.
for example
, if a student wants to research and
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 not have proper guidance
then
 the
information
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 provided by the research activities helps them out.
this
 gives
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to many aspirants who are interested in public
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 in turn helping the
cfoommunity
Correct your spelling
community
. on the other side, many
people
 believe that some data is too vital to be shared freely.
this
 can be agreed
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 an extent.
for instance
,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
an individual data like date of birth, phone number,
address
Correct word choice
and address
show examples
 should be kept safely,
addind
Correct your spelling
adding
 more security to their data.
furthermore
, in
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
 world, more replicating the company products which are high in stake at market. their
formaula
Correct your spelling
formula
 for product and their approach to their business should be secured. in my opinion, general
information
 can be shared
to
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with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
,
whereas
the
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apply
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confidential, which
explained
Add a missing verb
is explained
show examples
 above needs to be kept safe.
Submitted by sumanthkadulla on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • accelerates progress
  • innovative discoveries
  • transparency
  • open access
  • verify results
  • fraudulent
  • ethical practices
  • consumer trust
  • potential risk
  • misuse
  • sensitive information
  • genetic data
  • defense-related technologies
  • proprietary information
  • trade secrets
  • competitive edge
  • value
  • investment of time and resources
  • compensation
  • disincentivize
  • recoup costs
  • balanced approach
  • policies and agreements
  • sensitive data
  • fair compensation
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