Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors

Happiness is a widespread concern for us all, especially in today’s fast-changing and unpredictable world. While some might argue that

this

state of mind has

great dependence

Suggestion

a great dependence

on the amount of

money

we have, I agree with other people who point to a range of equally vital elements which will be discussed here. Perhaps no one can deny the key role of

money

to play in promoting our level of happiness. Having abundant sources of finance can not only safeguard us from unexpected situations of crisis or disease but

also

maintain our social relationships,

thus

leading to a better quality of life.

For instance

, a man would never be able to feel contented if he couldn’t send his children to school due to trouble of funding, which could result in potentially damaging his kids’ career prospects in the long term.

That is

the reason why many of us always try our best to make more

money

to guarantee a better life and consequent contentedness.

However

, I believe that there are various at least equally important factors that should not be ignored. Foremost among these is the presence of our elder family members,

such

as parents or grandparents. No matter how much a person

earn

Suggestion

earns

or the amount of

money

that

person

Suggestion

a person

has in

bank account

Suggestion

a bank account

the bank account

, he or she would by no means find themselves to be happy without being surrounded by their older relatives.

For example

, I remember being awfully miserable at the funeral of my grandpa when I was in college, though knowing that death is the destination that we all share.

Secondly

, having a job that you love doing

also

greatly contribute to our state of contentedness. Work is an indispensable part of our everyday life and doing enjoyable work would definitely make us feel happier. In conclusion, it seems to me that

money

absolutely improve

Suggestion

absolutely improves

our level of being

happy but

Accept comma addition

happy, but

other crucial elements should

also

not be skipped, including family members and positive feelings at work.

Submitted by danielporter on Tue Jun 04 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extend do you agree/ disagree with this option?

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information on products. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.