Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Happiness is a widespread concern for us all, especially in today’s fast-changing and unpredictable world. While some might argue that
this
state of mind has
great dependence
Suggestion
a great dependence
on the amount of
money
we have, I agree with other people who point to a range of equally vital elements which will be discussed here. Perhaps no one can deny the key role of
money
to play in promoting our level of happiness. Having abundant sources of finance can not only safeguard us from unexpected situations of crisis or disease but
also
maintain our social relationships,
thus
leading to a better quality of life.
For instance
, a man would never be able to feel contented if he couldn’t send his children to school due to trouble of funding, which could result in potentially damaging his kids’ career prospects in the long term.
That is
the reason why many of us always try our best to make more
money
to guarantee a better life and consequent contentedness.
However
, I believe that there are various at least equally important factors that should not be ignored. Foremost among these is the presence of our elder family members,
such
as parents or grandparents. No matter how much a person
earn
Suggestion
earns
or the amount of
money
that
person
Suggestion
a person
has in
bank account
Suggestion
a bank account
the bank account
, he or she would by no means find themselves to be happy without being surrounded by their older relatives.
For example
, I remember being awfully miserable at the funeral of my grandpa when I was in college, though knowing that death is the destination that we all share.
Secondly
, having a job that you love doing
also
greatly contribute to our state of contentedness. Work is an indispensable part of our everyday life and doing enjoyable work would definitely make us feel happier. In conclusion, it seems to me that
money
absolutely improve
Suggestion
absolutely improves
our level of being
happy but
Accept comma addition
happy, but
other crucial elements should
also
not be skipped, including family members and positive feelings at work.
Submitted by danielporter on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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