IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The government should only spend money on enhancing the people life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #people #life
Governments are responsible for providing high quality of
life
 for individuals by only spending
money
 on public activities. I entirely agree with the view, and believe that most individuals are
responsible equally
Suggestion
equally responsible
. On the one hand, having a high quality of
life
 is people right, and it is the governments' duties for providing
this
 issue. There can be found various issues regarding our society that
need
Suggestion
needs
 to be addressed. In reality, some poor individuals need to have adequate facilities and equipment to improve their
life
.
For example
, if governments spend more
money
 on public health as well as public transportation, many thousands of people will be lifted out of poverty.
Furthermore
, had countries punished their prisoners, our everyday lives would completely have been upgraded better.
On the other hand
, wealthy people can assist
governments according
Accept comma addition
governments, according
 to manage society's problems. Making private buildings, which cause to decrease poverty line and effect directly on the
life
 of people, is the best ways for enhancing the quality of
life
 in the societies.
For example
, If
wealthiest
Suggestion
wealthy
 spend their
money
 on constructing hospitals, schools, roads and universities, most people who need the mentioned facilities can use them for free and enjoy living.
In addition
, considering monthly salary for poor people by wealthiest is one of other good methods. I once again reaffirm my position that governments should supply enough facilities and equipment by spending more
money
 to improve their people live.
However
, individuals who are wealthier than others can play an important role to assist governments
for
Suggestion
in
 achieving the purpose as best as possible.
Submitted by alimohamadi.vahid on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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