IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #children #jobs #summer #vacation #people #amounts #child #labour #lessons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Work ethic is a value that has to be instilled in a
child
Use synonyms
’s moral code so that he may embrace the ways of success.
However
Linking Words
, it is imperative for us that we distinguish between a mere
summer
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 and
child
Use synonyms
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
.
Thus
Linking Words
, I ought to establish the definition of both. As far as I think, when a
child
Use synonyms
 works a full time
job
Use synonyms
 so as to provide himself and his family,
this
Linking Words
 is regarded as
child
Use synonyms
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
. As for a
summer
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
, it can be defined as a
job
Use synonyms
 with very limited working hours. In
this
Linking Words
 case, a
child
Use synonyms
 retains all his rights
such
Linking Words
 as education and welfare. In many countries, children, as young as ten, are encouraged to work for at least the period of the
summer
Use synonyms
 vacations. Parents believe that in order to prepare their children for the real world, it would be best for them to gain exposure to the real world through a
job
Use synonyms
. As far as a mere
summer
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 is concerned, it offers a
child
Use synonyms
 an invaluable lesson in taking responsibilities and respect for authority.
Such
Linking Words
 an opportunity
maybe
Suggestion
may be
 considered as a mere practical lesson, but it may have the potential to reveal
Use synonyms
child’s capabilities
Suggestion
the child’s capabilities
 and skills.
Hence
Linking Words
, it can help a
child
Use synonyms
’s
guardians
Suggestion
guardian
 to discover his hidden talents. In conclusion, a
summer
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 can be extremely beneficial for a
child
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, guardians must be careful not to cross the line that separates a
summer
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 and
child
Use synonyms
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
.
Submitted by Dammy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: