In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #reason

Some of young students now are encouraged to join some work or going to an occasion for a year in between

end

Suggestion

the end

of their schooling and beginning of university studies. In my

opinion

Accept comma addition

opinion, this

this

is leads to get lacking in their studies and some of them are loosing interest

Suggestion

farther

to or at a greater extent or degree or a more advanced stage ('further' is used more often than 'farther' in this abstract sense)

further

education. I think many of the students are continuing the

colleges

Suggestion

college

college's

life

after completing school that saving their

time

due to that.

Also

every

Suggestion

Every

student wants to do the same since they don't get deviate in other activities. More than that they will complete their desired course at

right

Suggestion

the right time

time

and can do work on that easily. And they can reach their goals

Suggestion

perfect

time

. I want to share one person experience which I have seen, one of younger cousin immediately started his college after school with

perfect future plan

Suggestion

the perfect future plan

a perfect future plan

perfect future plans

he was already decided what course want to study and which

job

he like to do everything with

perfect plan

Suggestion

a perfect plan

by the end his dreams come true. In other

hand some

Accept comma addition

hand, some

students are having long trip more over, few of them doing

job

Suggestion

the job

a job

Well I

Accept comma addition

Well, I

think doing

job

gives experience and make

person

Suggestion

people

the person

a person

responsible but

Accept comma addition

responsible, but

, those

job

Suggestion

jobs

are just permitted to that level. Having a graduation degree

is very important in everyone's

Suggestion

is very important in everyone's life also given

also very important in everyone's life gives

is very important in everyone's life also give

life

also

give more respect in society. Some teenagers are addicted to travelling these

days but

Accept comma addition

days, but

it's all waste

Suggestion

it's all a waste

time

. Having fun in

life

is not

wrong but

Accept comma addition

wrong, but

have

Suggestion

has

some limits for it, if extended to peak it goes wrong.

More over

in addition

Moreover

, they loose concentration on studies. I have seen one of my schoolmate he is very rich in money that made him irresponsible, after completing our schooling we all started

college but

Accept comma addition

college, but

he didn't, he

take

Suggestion

takes

a long trip to different places after 1 year his parents asked him to join in University for Higher education but he just said I'm not interested in studies rather than I will do business. But now he is not doing any business or work. I conclude that taking long break after schooling makes some students lazy and their thoughts go beyond study because in that age we don't know what is

life

so parents want to guide them.

Finally continuing

Accept comma addition

Finally, continuing

farther

to or at a greater extent or degree or a more advanced stage ('further' is used more often than 'farther' in this abstract sense)

further

studies without long break makes

person

Suggestion

a person

perfect to reach their desired destination at

right

Suggestion

the right time

time

Submitted by Siresha on Fri Jun 07 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

391 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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