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Writing Samples
Band 7

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate in law. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #prison #crime #people #education #law
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Criminality is an extremely complex phenomenon with a range of causes. Prison and providing
education
Use synonyms
 are two suggested ways to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. As well as offering my opinion,
this
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 essay will discuss
effectiveness
Suggestion
the effectiveness
 of prison and reasons why some people prefer to provide
education
Use synonyms
 to alleviate crime.
To begin
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 with, sending criminals to jail appears to be effective in a short-term period.
As a result
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,
this
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 weakens the chance of
such
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 lawbreakers doing harm to other citizens because they would be immediately isolated from society.
For example
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, those extremely dangerous delinquents
such
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 as arm dealers and drug traffickers can use
weapon
Suggestion
weapons
the weapon
 and fatal disease injections to pose threat to others.
Moreover
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, it is reasonably fair
for
Suggestion
to
 related victims to witness suitable punishment of criminals,
otherwise
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 trust
on
Suggestion
in
 the government and authorities will be certainly lost. Fortunately, heavy punishment would dissuade juveniles from becoming delinquents. There exist reasons making rehabilitation of
those
plural of "this"
these
 lawbreakers more effective when it comes to educational perspectives. In fact, those who violate social norms should receive
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 to better acknowledge justice, thereby having impressive
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
. In a recent survey conducted by Officially Anti-crime Organization, over 80 percent of former criminals who had already learned a trade and gained qualifications after releasing from custody can easily get adapted to society as helpful citizens. In
this
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 case,
such
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 changes in mental awareness will hinder
process
Suggestion
processing
 of breeding future offenders. To conclude,
this
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 essay argued why educating former criminals is much more effective than putting them in prison
although
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 both all work. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposition because
education
Use synonyms
 is the only way that can transform offenders into law-abiding citizens.
Submitted by fexibleman on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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