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Band 4.5

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#people #work #people’s #life #success #career
In modern society, career is to play the most significant role in common people's
life
,
hence
life
 will be incomplete if without any achievements. To a certain extent, I would agree with the importance of
work
,
however
, people will find it hard to fulfil their lives if
family
Suggestion
the family
 is ignored. It is true that
work
 is important since it helps people earn a living and gain respect. Indeed, had it not been for hours spent on
work
, we would not have been able to earn
money which
Accept comma addition
money, which
 is used to purchase
indispensible
not to be dispensed with; essential
indispensable
 daily items and to pay for compulsory fees
such
 as parking services or tuition fees for children.
Besides
 helping people meet their material demands,
work
 enables
devoters
an ardent follower and admirer
devotees
 to get appreciation from other people. To be specific, people who have high positions in
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
 have a tendency to be esteemed by coworkers since the more power they hold, the greater impacts they have on their staff. Concerning a meaningful
life, family has
Suggestion
, family life has
 an equal significance as
career
Suggestion
a career
.
Accept space
.
 Without unconditional love and supports from beloveds
,
Accept space
,
 we can hardly overcome numerous stress from
work
 as well as have the motivation to quickly complete tasks assigned in order to come back home. It is argued that respect from colleagues can be a substitution for family's love,
however
, it is uncertain whether they will support us when we no longer have power. Meanwhile, family members are those who always love and protect us under any circumstances. All in all, career and family play equally vital role in
humans'
Suggestion
human life
humans' life
life
. It is recommended that we should balance
work
 and
life
 in order to enjoy the full happiness.
Submitted by atef on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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