These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #time #computer #games #sports #development

Although

, it is sometimes thought that playing

computer

games by sitting in the room make young ones lazy as well as slows down the growth, while other parents find

this

is an opportunity to

becoming

Suggestion

become

expert in

computer

skills. I believe

this

is a negative development, as apart from skills of learning, youngsters actually lagging behind in so many things. Proponents of its positive development, regarding

computer

games, these games

has improved

Suggestion

have improved

child's understanding of

computer

softwares. Prior to these facilities, persons had lack technical skills.

However

, due to

computer

games, students now have developed

interest

Suggestion

an interest

computer

learning

also

which ultimately benefits them for long.

Furtgermore

in addition

Furthermore

, nowadays, they are using any softwares like an expert.

For example

, one of my cousins, have learned elementary skills by using phone games, no one has

teached

impart skills or knowledge to

taught

touched

reached

her.

On the other hand

variety

Suggestion

a variety

computer

games enticed the

youngsters

Suggestion

youngster's

mind

fastly

with rapid movements

quickly

In other words

, myriad of games

make

Suggestion

makes

young ones

Suggestion

the young ones

greedy to play for more.

Hence

this

habit, avert the situation to go out and play other sport on the field. They find them more interesting,

that is

why, they are avoiding it. Despite, its positive influence, it

destroy

Suggestion

destroys

their health condition in terms of physical,

mentally

Suggestion

mental

because playing outdoor game demands

physical existence

Suggestion

the physical existence

of a person. Apart from exercise, sports are

also

beneficial for

student concise

Accept comma addition

student, concise

development and mental growth ability, by it they can become more creative. In

conclusion, despite of

Suggestion

conclusion, despite

some positive aspects,

computer

game negative influences outweigh because, to

secure future

Suggestion

a secure future

its

it is

it's

not a good idea to ruin their present condition. To make them compatible with

world

Suggestion

the world

, social going out skills are necessary not only for living but to make a difference.

Submitted by pandey.sunaina15 on Wed Jun 12 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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These days many children spend a lot of their time playing computer games but little time doing sports? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major British airports between 1998 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Airport visitors, 1998-2003( millions of travellers per year)

Some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

many people believe that number of unhealthy people will increase in the future, while others think it will decrease. what is your opinion?

Scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language. Do you think this is a positive or negative social development?