More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #countries #effects

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Nowadays

obesity

Use synonyms

becoming a critical problem in the world, but children from

developed

Suggestion

developing

country is facing the issue more than any other part of the world. There are many arguments to state the causes and its consequences. The preponderant reason for

weightgain

Suggestion

weight gain

developed

Suggestion

developing

countries is modern life style of these countries.

People

Suggestion

The people

of these countries have

very busy lifestyle

Suggestion

a very busy lifestyle

and to save

time

Use synonyms

they are taking

fastfood

Suggestion

fast food

as their meal. These

fastfood

Suggestion

fast food

is very high

in calories that can

Suggestion

calories that can

fill your stomach in less money and

time

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Therefore

Accept comma addition

Therefore, this

this

Linking Words

junkfood

Suggestion

junk food

is the main reason for overweight in developed countries.

Secondly

Linking Words

, children are spending less

time

Use synonyms

on physical activities and outdoor games. Due to

ubiquity

Suggestion

the ubiquity

of internet and advanced gadgets, children are spending more and more

time

Use synonyms

mobile phone

Suggestion

a mobile phone

the mobile phone

mobile phones

and computers which reduces their physical activity.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they are not aware about

importance

Suggestion

the importance

of outdoor games and physical exercise.

Hence

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

has became

Suggestion

has become

critical problem

Suggestion

a critical problem

in developed as well as developing countries.

However

Linking Words

, with the active participation of parents and schools,

this

Linking Words

problem can be solved easily. Parents should take

active interest

Suggestion

an active interest

in child's daily life and

guid

direct the course; determine the direction of travelling

guide

get

guides

them for different outdoor games

similarly

Linking Words

schools should organize different sports

competition which

Accept comma addition

competition, which

encourage students to take part in

such

Linking Words

physically

Suggestion

physical

intense activities.

Additionally

Linking Words

government

Suggestion

the government

should take survey of different area for the

obesity

Use synonyms

index and suggest different programs to cure the

obesity

Use synonyms

based on requirement.

Finally

Linking Words

, based on the arguments

outlined above one

Suggestion

outlined above, one

can conclude that hectic lifestyle and technological developments

Suggestion

are

the main cause of the

obesity

Use synonyms

in developed countries,

Linking Words

however it

Accept comma addition

however, it

can be cured by active participation of government, parents and schools.

Submitted by dpp.2335 on Fri Jun 14 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages.

In many countries, a financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it identity theft has on the victims involved?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually empahsise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?