More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays
obesity
becoming a critical problem in the world, but children from
developed
Suggestion
developing
country is facing the issue more than any other part of the world. There are many arguments to state the causes and its consequences. The preponderant reason for
weightgain
Suggestion
weight gain
in
developed
Suggestion
developing
countries is modern life style of these countries.
People
Suggestion
The people
of these countries have
very busy lifestyle
Suggestion
a very busy lifestyle
and to save
time
they are taking
fastfood
Suggestion
fast food
as their meal. These
fastfood
Suggestion
fast food
is very high
in calories that can
Suggestion
calories that can
fill your stomach in less money and
time
.
Therefore
Accept comma addition
Therefore, this
this
junkfood
Suggestion
junk food
is the main reason for overweight in developed countries.
Secondly
, children are spending less
time
on physical activities and outdoor games. Due to
ubiquity
Suggestion
the ubiquity
of internet and advanced gadgets, children are spending more and more
time
on
mobile phone
Suggestion
a mobile phone
the mobile phone
mobile phones
and computers which reduces their physical activity.
Moreover
, they are not aware about
importance
Suggestion
the importance
of outdoor games and physical exercise.
Hence
obesity
has became
Suggestion
has become
critical problem
Suggestion
a critical problem
in developed as well as developing countries.
However
, with the active participation of parents and schools,
this
problem can be solved easily. Parents should take
active interest
Suggestion
an active interest
in child's daily life and
guid
direct the course; determine the direction of travelling
guide
get
guides
them for different outdoor games
similarly
schools should organize different sports
competition which
Accept comma addition
competition, which
encourage students to take part in
such
physically
Suggestion
physical
intense activities.
Additionally
,
government
Suggestion
the government
should take survey of different area for the
obesity
index and suggest different programs to cure the
obesity
based on requirement.
Finally
, based on the arguments
outlined above one
Suggestion
outlined above, one
can conclude that hectic lifestyle and technological developments
is
Suggestion
are
the main cause of the
obesity
in developed countries,
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
can be cured by active participation of government, parents and schools.
Submitted by dpp.2335 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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