IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, spending a lot of rupees for entertainment has become
controversial issue
Suggestion
a controversial issue
.
Although
Linking Words
, some people find it is positive for everyone, while others see it as a negative aspect. Even, in my view, I think it has a good implementation despite having some negative effect. On the one
hand of
Accept comma addition
hand, of
 argument, regarding its negative development, opponent of
this
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 argument who thinks paying money on the ticket price of sporting and cultural events is wastage.
In other words
Linking Words
, they do not find its relevance for
living
Suggestion
a living
.
For example
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, purchasing 5 kg apple in cost Rs. 500 have far significance than spending on the movie ticket of Rs. 500, because apple is good for a person's health.
In addition
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, according to them, there are always other options of the entertainment like playing sports,
hang-out
a frequently visited place
hangout
 with friends.
Hence
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, they have defined it as "illogical spending".
On the other hand
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, those who supports the idea of spending on these social activities, find it as an opportunity
of
Suggestion
for
 economic development. They believe that it has improved the economy of the country because these are the medium to collect taxes from the citizens.
Furthermore
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, it promotes and provide an opportunity to a person who wants to become an actor or player. If no one will watch these programs, there
will
Suggestion
will be
 no chance to get an opportunity.
For instance
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, Sachin Tendulkar got the global
platform and now,
Suggestion
platform, and now
 have become an identity of India cricket because he was supported by
people
Suggestion
the people
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, these programs
are
Suggestion
is
 so creative in every term that it will definitely
benefits
Suggestion
benefit
 audience's vision and insights. Ultimately, audience will develop good perspective. In conclusion, despite having some negative aspects, it's positive influence completely weighed it down. I think it is good to have an international attention along with an
opportunities
Suggestion
opportunity
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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