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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prison is the best punishment for the criminals. Discuss.

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Reward and
punishment
Use synonyms
 is the natural phenomena, countries have
also
Linking Words
 developed law and order system, in order to develop better societies. Some people believe that
imprisonment
Use synonyms
 is the ideal solution to punish the guilty, while
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 reject
this
Linking Words
 notion and argue that self realization of guilt is more important to eliminate crime in the
society
Use synonyms
. There are different types of penalties and punishments for different levels of crimes,
such
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 as fine,
imprisonment
Use synonyms
, death penalty etc. The purpose behind each of them is to realize individual their mistakes and make them avoid repeating them again. What if,
such
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punishment
Use synonyms
 cannot improve a
person
Use synonyms
 or cannot change his or her thought. The purpose of the
punishment
Use synonyms
 is not achieved, if the
person
Use synonyms
 is not willing to change himself.
For
Linking Words
instance if
Accept comma addition
instance, if
 a
person
Use synonyms
 has committed an
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offence
 and harmed somebody in his anger, so punishing him by putting him in jail might not help, whereas, making him realize the outcome or aftereffects of his act will be more fruitful as he might refrain from taking any
such
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 serious action again. Self realization of
mistake
Suggestion
the mistake
 is the biggest
punishment
Use synonyms
 that can make a
person
Use synonyms
 a better social being.
Counseling
Suggestion
Counselling
 at every step of life will develop a sense of right and wrong among people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people who design the structure of any
society
Use synonyms
 should focus more on the root cause rather than punishing
culprits
Suggestion
the culprits
. Problems like poverty, illiteracy, unequal distribution of wealth leads to greater crime rate than
otherwise
Linking Words
. Putting efforts in improving those helps rather than punishing those who
are already suffered
Suggestion
already suffer
have already been suffered
 from
such
Linking Words
 circumstances, which lead them to become criminal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, loopholes in systems should
also
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 be taken into account,
for
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instance people
Accept comma addition
instance, people
 override
law
Suggestion
the law
 and save themselves by giving
bribe
Suggestion
bribes
.
However
Linking Words
,
imprisonment
Use synonyms
in contrast
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 important to some extent, where somebody is injurious to the
society
Use synonyms
 and not being able to improve himself despite of many warnings,
imprisonment
Use synonyms
 is the only way to keep
society
Use synonyms
save
free from danger or the risk of harm
safe
. Prison is really not a comfortable place, so criminal may
also
Linking Words
 avoid doing crimes, in order to save themselves from
going jail
Suggestion
going to jail
.
Prime motive
Suggestion
A prime motive
The prime motive
 of
punishment
Use synonyms
 is to improve individual from committing crime again and again and
punishment
Use synonyms
 is the best way to do
this
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
,
imprisonment
Use synonyms
 is not the only way to do
this
Linking Words
. I personally believe that, nobody is a bad in
Use synonyms
person it
Accept comma addition
person, it
 is only circumstances that makes
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
people
a person
the person
 bad,
hence
Linking Words
 working on root cause will help to improve those criminals that results in
such
Linking Words
 crimes.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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