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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that more money will make them happier. How important is money for happiness?

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Since the start of
this
Linking Words
 world, everyone is in the pursuit of happiness. People have been trying to find a sense of
acheivement
the action of accomplishing something
achievement
 and
fulfillment
a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires
fulfilment
 through various means. Some consider that economic wealth is the key to remain happy whereas others disagree. I believe that, while
money
Use synonyms
 is one of the reasons to keep a
person
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 happy, it is not the only factor that gives
this
Linking Words
 feeling.
Firstly
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, having adequate financial resources is important to live a comfortable
life
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, there are many other factors that affect a
person
Use synonyms
's sense of
fulfillment
a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires
fulfilment
. It is thought that many psychological experts that having a happy and stable social
life
Use synonyms
 has a greater impact on
Use synonyms
person's happiness
Suggestion
a person's happiness
 than any other materialistic factors.
For instance
Linking Words
, many famous movie and music icons have
suicided
attain success or reach a desired goal
succeeded
subsided
 due to mid
life
Use synonyms
 crisis who were known for being extremely rich.
Secondly
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, it has been observed that people who have a lot of wealth are drug addicts, more often than not. According to doctors, the reason for
death
Suggestion
the death
 of
such
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 people was drug abuse. It is a known fact that the primary reason of using drugs for any
person
Use synonyms
 is finding happiness. If
money
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 would have been all
thats
Suggestion
that's
 required to be happy, would these people use drugs?
Finally
Linking Words
, the importance of
money
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 in being happy cannot be ignored. One of the basic factors for being happy is living a comfortable
life
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 and
such
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 is not possible without having adequate financial resources.
Money
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 not only helps in living
such
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life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
also
Linking Words
fulfills
put in effect
fulfils
 basic
neccessities
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessities
 of the people.
For example
Linking Words
, The New York Times reported that the
second
Linking Words
 most common reason for divorce is
lack
Suggestion
a lack
the lack
 of required finances.
Afterall
Suggestion
After all
, Who
doesnt
does not
doesn't
 need to pay bills in
this
Linking Words
 world? In conclusion,
money
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 is important to live a comfortable
life
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 and pay bills which are the basic requirements of any
person
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,
however
Linking Words
, the role that other factors play are
also
Linking Words
 important. It can be said that all these factors go hand in hand and all these
factors including
Accept comma addition
factors, including
money
Use synonyms
 are important
ingridients
a component of a mixture or compound
ingredients
 to live a happy
life
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
What to do next:
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