The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

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It is observed that the proportion of kids who are above the normal
weight
Use synonyms
in the developed countries is on the increase by over 20% In the
last
Linking Words
one decade.
This
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essay will point out the factors responsible for
this
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problem and
also
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, the consequences of
this
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challenge. One of the causes of unnecessary
weight
Use synonyms
gain in children is
consumption
Suggestion
the consumption
of fatty diets and junks. These days parents of
children especially
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children, especially
mothers do not have time to cook good meals for their kids,
consequently
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relying on fast food joints and junks.
For
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example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
a developed country like the United States, research has shown that nearly 30% of school pupils under the
age
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of 13 are
over
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
weight
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. The
second
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factor responsible for
this
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challenging trend is lack of exercise. School
age
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kids no longer engage in exercise, you find them sitting in front of their mega television watching cartoons. Take
for
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instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
France, children are taken to school via their father's car or the school bus, they get to the college only to sit
through out
all the way through
throughout
the day in their various classes, they
are
Suggestion
then take
are then taking
have then taken
are then taken
then
Linking Words
take home, on getting
home they
Accept comma addition
home, they
continue with their sedentary
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
by sitting in front of the screen and devouring their junks,
thus
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, compounding their
weight
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problems. The results of
been
the state or fact of existing
being
over
weight
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can not
can not
cannot
be over emphasised. The
first
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consequence of
this
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disturbing issue is a problem with their health, kids become unhealthy when they weigh more than an acceptable
weight
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for their
age
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.
For example
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the liver does more work than it should as it is involved in digesting the junks eaten,
as a result
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they may come down with liver problems.
Furthermore
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, fats may become deposited in their hearts, giving them heart issues
as a result
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of high
cholestrol
an animal sterol that is normally synthesized by the liver; the most abundant steroid in animal tissues
cholesterol
.
Lastly
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, kids who are
over
usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it
overweight
weight
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look
old
Suggestion
older
than their
age
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,
consequently
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, people take them for adults when they are just kids. Take as an example; a nine
years
Suggestion
year
old girl who looks like a teenager, men will begin to ask her out, thinking she's matured. In conclusion,
been
the state or fact of existing
being
overweight in kids is a serious problem which is
caused by eating of
Suggestion
caused by eating
fatty meals and junks
,
Accept space
,
also
Linking Words
, lack of exercise and these may result into health challenges
such
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as heart issues for these innocent kids.
Submitted by segunabiola81 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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