At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large amount numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situatuion outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, a significant number of young adult population in some countries has increased compared with the elderly person.
This
essay will argue that the advantages of
this
outweigh the drawbacks.
This
essay will
first
demonstrate the impact on productivity, innovation and creativity by a full-grown adult, followed by an analysis of primary disadvantages, namely the negative influence on traditional
culture
. There is no doubt that the state's
economy is
Accept comma addition
economy, is
mainly relied on the manpower of young adults.
In addition
, the
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
of young people is energetic and healthy so that they can contribute a huge mark on the capacity of the country's GDP. If the ratio of the young and the old was unbalanced, what would happen?
For example
, one of the developed countries, Japan, come across with
this
circumstance. The steady increase of elderly people has affected the productivity of that nation.
As a result
, the government has changed their policy for foreign workers recently. Before it happens, Japan has very strict rules for immigration for employees from abroad.
Besides
, the technologies are becoming more advanced compared to the
last
three decades. The majority of young people are a technophobe, whereas the huge number of old people is
technophobia
. Apart from that, the adults have creative thinking with
this
state-of-the-art high-tech so that they can be technology innovators, entrepreneurs as well in various sectors. They can raise the national economy,
for instance
, Singapore has become one of the richest countries by selling the hi-tech even though
this
small nation is poor in natural resources. The drawbacks
is
Suggestion
are
the full force
on
Suggestion
of
civilization. Generally speaking, the nature of young adults focus on the new technology, their professional work and academic life rather than historic cultural values. Apart from that, most of the young adults today are materialist and they are easy to follow the global trend. On the other hands, the
elderly people
Accept comma addition
elderly, people
value civilizations and they are very eager to preserve
such
a kind of values.
For example
, we can still see many old men and women with their traditional wears around Tokyo,
however
, most of young adults follow the western style
culture
. In order not to disappear the traditional civilized values, the
elderly persons
Accept comma addition
elderly, persons
need to relay to their generation and
over
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
next
generation so that the young will be aware. On balance, despite of some disadvantages on traditional
culture
by a growth of
young adult population
Suggestion
a young adult population
the young adult population
,
this
is certainly true that owing young adults human resources can hit a huge impact on the strength of the
country
Suggestion
country's
economy. As long as the community is rich, there are several methods to retain the traditional
culture
values.
Submitted by kyawzin.htp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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