Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #work #places

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Most workplaces are affected by modern

technology

Use synonyms

nowadays. In my opinion,

this

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not only can help in an increase in the production of goods but

also

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revolutionised some industries greatly,

nevertheless

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there are a few disadvantages when these machines are relied on heavily.

Firstly

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, it is obvious that modern machines which are used in factories may produce goods faster than humans.

In other words

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, more products are produced in an hour which may lead to a significant reduction in costs and,

as a result

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, cheaper products.

For example

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, one drawing machine may draw 1000 chairs in one hour,

whereas

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a human spends days or weeks. Meanwhile, modern

technology

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is used by manufacturers in order to reduce mistakes which are often made by people.

Secondly

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, modern inventions certainly have helped some industries, especially the entertainment industry to reach another level.

That is

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to say, nobody can imagine a movie without a computer graphic which is used so as to make a film more exciting.

Similarly

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, computers make production cheaper

while

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using natural scenery is very expensive.

For instance

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, almost the whole movie may be recorded in front of a green screen which requires only one pavilion in any country,

nevertheless

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, recording of nature requires all crew to be transported to a target place,

such

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as a city, mountain or sea.

On the other hand

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, involving a lot of modern

technology

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in workplaces may cause a rise in the unemployment rate because more and more work may be done by machines. At present, because of the development of cybernetics, most industries have downsized, and

therefore

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, many people have been laid off.

Besides

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that, in some cases, manufacturing may be stopped if something goes wrong with a power supply.

Hence

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, in

this

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case, human roles are still essential. In conclusion,

although

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using modern

technology

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in most workplaces increases productivity and quality, it may cause some serious problems.

Submitted by s_syedy on Mon Apr 17 2023

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Introduction Development

To enhance your essay, consider expanding your introductory paragraph with more detailed background information or a clearer outline of your discussion points. This improvement can make your essay more engaging and provide a stronger foundation for your arguments.

Argument Balance

When discussing disadvantages, try to balance your essay by elaborating on them as thoroughly as you explore the advantages. This balance will present a well-rounded analysis of the topic.

Transition Use

Incorporate transitional phrases between paragraphs and sections to improve the flow of your essay. This refinement will guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

Paragraph Focus

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity and coherence. If necessary, split overly complex paragraphs into smaller sections.

Relevant Examples

Provided relevant, clear examples to support arguments, enhancing the essay's persuasive power.

Effective Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the essay's arguments.

Clear Position

Maintained a clear position throughout the essay, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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19
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

314 words

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Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environment responsibility While others believe that tourists should not accept any responsiblity at all.To what Extend do you agree or disagree.

All education, primary, secondary and further education, should be free to all people and paid for the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?