QUESTION: Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government While others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your answer

According to research, it has been discovered that more people are dying from curable and preventable diseases recently.
This
has led to various schools of thought on how
this
trend can be reversed. A school of thought is of the opinion that the wellness of the populace is a duty of the government while others believe that people’s
wellbeing
a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous
well-being
depends on the people themselves. Both
school
Suggestion
schools
of thoughts will be reviewed and a position made. There are many things that the government need to put in place to help improve the health of her people. One of
such
is proper remuneration of medical personnel working in hospitals. Proper remuneration will make these staff work optimally, it will
also
encourage more people to join the medical profession
hence
reduce patients to staff
ratio thereby
Accept comma addition
ratio, thereby
ensuring availability of quality medical services at all times to people. In
Nigeria
Accept comma addition
Nigeria, for
for example
, there are more than 5,000 patients to a doctor due to the fact that most of the doctors have travelled out for greener pasture and
this
has led to bad medical services being rendered.
People
Suggestion
The people
have active roles to play when it comes to taking care of their health, one of
such
is by doing physical exercises. According to researches, physical exercises have been proven to prevent obesity,
diabetics
a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst
diabetes
, pulmonary and other diseases. When people work out, they burn off excess food intake, preventing build-up of high blood sugars which will eventually lead to
diabetics
a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst
diabetes
.
For example
, it has been reported that
more elderly
Suggestion
most elderly
people can be found in Japan, due to the fact that Japanese eat well and exercise properly. The health of a nation is everybody’s business. I believe that both government and the people have active roles to play to ensure the wellness of its people. Government
need
Suggestion
needs
to ensure that medical personnel are well paid so that they can be continually motivated while people should ensure they exercise daily.
Submitted by gbokun2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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