IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
So popular are social networking sites
such
 as Facebook or Twitter, that almost every single individual in today's society is utilizing them on a daily basis via computers or smart phones.
However
, despite the potential risks they pose, they do expert more beneficial effects on individuals and society as a whole. Social networking sites seem to take heavy to toll on the health of people and on the well-being of society.
For instance
, many minors and celebrities
in particular
, are easily bullied or harassed by threatening messages or photos spreading on these social media sites. One becoming a target of cyber bullying, not only are those victims more likely to suffer anxiety, depression and even suicide, but
this
also
further
 does harm to their life and work.
Moreover
, it can make us misconceive between meaningful relationships fostered and various relationships established through virtual world. So an undesirable consequence that
further
 detrimentally affects ways more people as well as communities and
thus
 significantly reduce social cohesion. The exposure to these social media sites
on the other hand
 is
facilator
Suggestion
facilitated
facilitator
 in extending opportunities of learning
form
a giver or sender
from
 various people regardless of geographical locations and cultural. Compared with traditional education that learners have to be confined to a classroom, learning through social networking sites empowers them to interact with each other on a large-scale, sharing information about their culture and work collaboratively.
Furthermore
, SNS is
also
 a useful, indispensable tool for workplace learning thanks to its regular accessibility through which employees can improve their expertise in a flexible way. For government or international organizations take advantage of its fast-spreading nature to share public information, new rules or regulation and promote civic engagement
such
 as public health and political activities.
Submitted by ttnnguyen159 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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