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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #children #parent #responsibility #behaviour
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There is contention on whether
parents
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 of delinquent juveniles should be held accountable for the actions of their
children
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 and be punished for it. I disagree on
this
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 matter.
Instead
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 of transferring the blame to them when kids behave poorly, I believe that at a very young age, they already have the freedom and the ability to make decisions of their own. With that being said, they should learn to be made accountable for their choices and actions, so that they will grow up having the burden of responsibility and know that there are certain consequences towards unwanted acts.
Children
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 have free will. They are able to make choices, rationalize and be held liable for the results of their own deeds and
parents
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,
on the other hand
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, have the responsibility of teaching them right and wrong, guiding them in making good and sound choices in life and showing that all things have karma, both good and bad.
For instance
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, a parent can only warn the child that the chair is high and if he or she moves a lot she might fall and get hurt. The kid can choose whether or not to heed the warning given to them but getting hurt is the consequence of not listening. By experiencing the results of their decisions, they will learn from that experience and build a character out of it.
In contrast
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,
children
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 who are not held liable for their actions early in their lives will grow up thinking that the world owns them and blaming others
instead
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 of themselves. Entitledness, self-centeredness, lack of maturity and empathy are characteristics of spoiled individuals raised in a home where
parents
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 lack discipline in
this
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 area.
To conclude
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,
children
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 should be answerable for their own behaviour and be punished
accordingly
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while
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parents
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 should only be obligated to teach, guide and love them
while
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 moulding kids into adults that will contribute to a better society.
Submitted by decxelnarjoyragas on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While your essay presents a clear opinion, introducing more diverse examples and deeper analysis can make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by varying your transition words and phrases. This can help to clearly link your ideas and paragraphs, making your argument flow more naturally. Additionally, try to develop your main points further with more detailed examples and explanations that are directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • environment
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • influence
  • negate
  • individuality
  • act out
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • broader societal issues
  • solely
  • community
  • social institutions
  • overly accountable
  • stress
  • unfair blame
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