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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #governments #citizens
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Declining
health
Use synonyms
 of citizens due to poor
diet
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 is
major concern
Suggestion
a major concern
 of many governments in the world. Different people have distinct mindset. Some section of society deem that it is
personal job
Suggestion
a personal job
 to take
care
Use synonyms
 of their
health
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 and
food
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, whereas other
opine
Suggestion
opinion
 that government should take
care
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 of their citizen's
diet
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. The following paragraphs would shed light onto the approaches before making the final conclusion along with my perspective. To
comence
take the first step or steps in carrying out an action
commence
commences
commenced
 with the
first
Linking Words
 notion, there are myriad things to be shared in the
first
Linking Words
 statement.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, there is no
dought
the state of being unsure of something
doubt
 that it is
personal responsibility
Suggestion
the personal responsibility
 of
individual
Suggestion
the individual
individuals
 to make their own
food
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 which gives them freedom to make
food
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 of their own choice and it
also
Linking Words
 helps them to keep healthy
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the children who
does not have
Suggestion
do not have
 knowledge about
food
Use synonyms
, probably will be
obessed
used improperly or excessively especially drugs
abused
 due to unhealthy
food
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 consumption, In
this
Linking Words
 case their parents can provide them healthy
food
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 which will help them to keep away from
health
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 related problems.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a survey done by the times of
america
North American republic containing 50 states - 48 conterminous states in North America plus Alaska in northwest North America and the Hawaiian Islands in the Pacific Ocean; achieved independence in 1776
America
 in 2008 which stated that the people used to cook and eat their
food
Use synonyms
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
 at home were more healthy than who used to consume junk
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there is an eminent adage that says,'' beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder,''
likewise
Linking Words
 others believe that the government should take
care
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 of
thier
of them or themselves
their
 citizens
diet
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 because nowadays, people often have less option regarding
food
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 and they have to rely on junk
food
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 which contains more fats, sugars and salts due to the pressures of work. Government could regulate the content of
such
Linking Words
 foods by
aplying
put into service; make work or employ for a particular purpose or for its inherent or natural purpose
applying
 heavy taxes on the fast
food
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 companies which will not only result in the automatic reduction of fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption but
also
Linking Words
 help to
maintaining
Suggestion
maintain
health
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 of
individual
Suggestion
the individual
an individual
individuals
. To recapitulate, It can be said that, "every coin has two sides'' in the same manner, both aspects of taking
care
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 of personal
health
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 and
diet
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 by individual or by government are crucial for both groups of people and
can not
can not
cannot
 be denied.
Submitted by pinalpatil18 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health-conscious decisions
  • self-discipline
  • informed choices
  • personal accountability
  • regulating food industries
  • implementing policies
  • healthy eating
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies for healthy food
  • enabling environment
  • accessible
  • affordable
What to do next:
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