Individuals and countries cannot help everyone who needs help in the world, so they should only be concerned about their own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is generally agreed that poor people in the
world
cannot be supported by
world
communities and simple citizens.
Instead
of
this
, people and their governments should protect and increase living standards of their communities.
This
essay disagrees with that suggestion
partially but
Accept comma addition
partially, but
supports the idea that countries and individuals should protect poor
part
of their community.
This
essay will
first
look at how countries can impact poor nations by help of international organizations and
then
, it will be discussed how rich governments can increase
common wealth
Suggestion
the common wealth
of poor and needy
population
.
Finally cross
Accept comma addition
Finally, cross
-investment opportunities and
it
it is
it's
impact on local communities and need for
support
local community will be investigated. International organizations have effective and proven methods to protect and increase the living standards of
poor
Suggestion
the poor population
population
in the
world
. These organizations usually
support
local governments, NGOs and commercial entities to develop specific economic clusters. Through these clusters unemployment rate decrease and poor people specialize in
specific
Suggestion
specific parts
a specific part
part
of the economic chain.
World
Tourism Organization located in Spain is a specific example, which hundreds of tourism project set up in poor countries and common wealth of
this
communities
Suggestion
community
increased by attracting international and local tourists. Through
this
way huge
part
of the people specialized in tourism related jobs and increased their financial outcome in poor countries
such
as Kenya, Yemen, Georgia.
This
is a big financial
support
for poor communities’ in un-direct way through the international organizations. Countries and individuals can
also
help
poor
Suggestion
the poor population
population
in the
world
. Rich countries or wealthy peoples are able
to invest specific
Suggestion
to invest in specific
projects in poor countries to
support
local agricultural activities. Muhammad
Salah who
Accept comma addition
Salah, who
is leading soccer player of Liverpool can be
very good example
Suggestion
a very good example
to
Suggestion
of
this
notion. Muhammad Salah invested low income
population
in Egypt to
support
agricultural activities of the village close to Cairo. Through
this
way many rich individuals as well as countries can
support
needy people and communities.
Finally
, the countries and individuals should
also
protect and
support
their poor community as well. Even in rich
economies there
Accept comma addition
economies, there
is some poor
part
of
population
Suggestion
the population
that needs to be supported.
Cross
Suggestion
Gross
investments could be very effective to stimulate niche economy and create win-win situation. Local specialized field based course investment of British Petroleum (BP) helped
poor
Suggestion
the poor population
population
of Baku city by giving them specific skills to work in petroleum companies created both benefit for BP and locals. In conclusion, poor and needy people in the
world even
Accept comma addition
world, even
in
home country
Suggestion
the home country
have to be supported. There are always many
scenario
Suggestion
scenarios
of the win-win situation through stimulating and investing economic activities. Poor people
is
Suggestion
are
have been
cheap work force that can be diverted to
economic growth
Suggestion
the economic growth
of the region.
Submitted by iqquliyev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: