IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#government #ban #places #people #freedoms
There has been an argument over smoking in the outside. Some individuals think lighting a cigarette and
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 contemporaries should not be allowed in the open,
although
 it might rob others of their freedom.
This
 essay completely agrees with
this
 point of view because smoking is injurious to the health of the citizens at large and
also
 it is not a good
habit
 to be practised in the open.
First
 and foremost, one of the reasons why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 go with
this
 statement is that, smoking is damaging to the life of the society.
This
 means that, the person enjoying the
habit
 is not the only one at the risk of disease conditions
such
 as cancer that results from smoking.
For instance
, in 2013 it was discovered that, 55% of people who came down with cancers were passive smokers. For
this
 reason, anyone who wished to smoke should not be allowed to do so in the public or amongst people,
thus
,
this
 practice be banned in the open.
Secondly
, smoking is not a good
habit
 that should be showcased in the public. There are innocent children in the outside world that are learning, if they see adults lighting tobacco products outside, they may feel it is a good way of enjoying life. In order words, smoking in the public may influence younger children.
For example
, while we young, a friend of mine started smoking papers and mats, because he saw people practicing
this
habit
 in the open. To prevent the younger generation from learning
such
 habits,
although
 it may threaten other people's choice of freedom, people should be restricted from smoking in public areas. In conclusion, due to the harms caused by smoking and
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 influence on young kids, I completely agree that the authorities should ban smoking in the public areas.
Submitted by mjadesuyi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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