IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health problems caused by the excessive
consumption
 of fast foods have assumed epidemic proportions all over the world. According to some people, it is important to impose a high
tax
 on junk
food
 to discourage people from eating
such
 foods. In my opinion,
this
 will deter only the middle and lower income groups.
To begin
 with, imposing a higher
tax
 will make fast foods unaffordable to poor people.
This
 will force them to cook proper meals at home. While
this
 might cause them some inconvenience, it is actually good for their health.
However
, the taxes will not discourage affluent consumers from buying fast
food
. They will continue to consume it. That means increasing the
tax
 on fast
food
 will have only a marginal effect on its
consumption
. Creating awareness about the ill-effects of fast foods is
also
 unlikely to be of much help. Most people who consume fast foods are actually aware of its health consequences.
For instance
, a survey conducted in Singapore, one of the developed countries in the world, revealed that people are compelled to buy fast foods because of their busy schedule even though they are aware of the health problems. Perhaps a better solution is to make healthy
food
 more affordable and accessible. One of the main reasons that increase the
consumption
 of fast foods is that they can be cooked in a matter of minutes. Ready-to-eat foods are
also
 available in supermarkets. Many people are consuming fast foods because healthier alternatives are not conveniently available. To conclude, increasing the
tax
 on fast foods will only deter the low income groups from buying them. If the governments really want to reduce the
consumption
 of fast foods, making healthier alternatives more affordable and accessible is the best solution.
Submitted by cksal7928 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: