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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense
It is argued that the state is responsible for the safety of its people,
therefore
 the state should spend more in security system as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to social welfares. I completely agree, because of the rising tensions between different nations due to less supply of resources and murdering of people in the
name
 of
religion
. Scarcity of natural resources can create
war
 like situations between
neighboring
having a common boundary or edge; abutting; touching
neighbouring
 countries,
therefore
 it is essential for any nation to prepare for future clashes by improving their
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 system. Natural resources are limited in quantity in
this
 globe. Scientists of various nations are struggling to find alternative to
such
 issues or else to make minimum use. Failure in control of
such
 things raises the tension in the region, which latter can create problems for the upcoming generations.
For instance
, drinking water is
precious natural resource
Suggestion
a precious natural resource
 and limited in quantity. Some countries are already dried up and they survive on filtration methods and some still have
abundant supply
Suggestion
an abundant supply
 of water to feed many generations to come.
This
 uneven distribution of water around the world can affect the relationships of
neighboring
having a common boundary or edge; abutting; touching
neighbouring
 countries and results into
war
 like situation.
Thus
, government should spend money in order to improve their army. Another factor is the rising tension by killing people in the
name
 of
religion
. Every belief wants to show his dominance around the world and they believe their
religion
 is greater than others. Competition to dominate sometimes emerge into
war
 by killing the people of other religions.
Therefore
, the state should increase their budget to control
such
 hate between people of different
religion
.
For instance
, in news channels every day we listen the killing of people in the
name
 of
religion
, these criminal minded people must be controlled to make the world
more safer
Suggestion
safer
 place. In conclusion,
although
 the social aspects
for
Suggestion
of
 mankind are important, but the risk of
war
 is increasing every day due to limited supply of natural resources and hatred among people in the
name
 of
religion
,
thus
 it is necessary for the authority to spend more money in
defense budget
Suggestion
the defence budget
defence budget
 to control
such
 unwanted possibilities.
Submitted by writing745 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • national security
  • sovereignty
  • foreign entities
  • military sector
  • economic growth
  • inequality
  • vulnerable populations
  • elderly
  • disabled
  • unemployed
  • social stability
  • public health
  • balanced approach
  • appropriate funding
  • nation’s needs
  • priorities
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