IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nobody can deny that parental influence is important for children, at least in cases where children live with their parents, foster parents or guardians.
However
Linking Words
, it is by no means clear that children should spend
time
Use synonyms
 exclusively
in
Suggestion
with
 the family, as we will see. On the one hand, it may appear advisable for parents to act as role models and to establish ground rules for behaviour by spending as much
time
Use synonyms
 as possible with their children.
This
Linking Words
 allows the youngsters to absorb conventions and codes of conduct which they can
then
Linking Words
 follow themselves, hopefully leading to an absence of problems
such
Linking Words
 as bullying, truancy and delinquency later on.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, being with the family should reduce the risk of children falling victim to crimes
such
Linking Words
 as abduction, or coming under the influence of negative peer pressure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we have to ask whether
this
Linking Words
 is a practical proposition. In a society where many families are dual-income, or where one parent’s role as breadwinner means he/she is away from the family for long periods, it is inevitable that children cannot spend all of their
time
Use synonyms
 with the family. Child minding and after-school childcare
are often used
Suggestion
is often used
 in these cases, and if managed properly, these can be perfectly viable alternatives. Equally, it seems that children can in some cases learn a considerable amount from their peers
in addition
Linking Words
 to adults, and allowing them to play without direct supervision may be a benefit. To conclude, it appears that, while family
time
Use synonyms
 is essential for bonding and absorbing patterns of behaviour, there are definite advantages when children are outside the family too.
This
Linking Words
 is provided that they are in a safe, well-behaved environment with peers who are themselves reasonably well brought-up
Submitted by mojtaba.1986.nasiri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: