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In some countries, fast food restaurant and supper markets give money to school to promote their products. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#countries #food #restaurant #supper #markets #money #school #products #development
Schools
 have been acknowledge to be a
place
 of wisdom and liberties, where
students
 may learn about any topic of their
choice
. In some countries, outside businesses,
such
 as restaurants ans super markets, happened in giving money to some
schools
 in exchange of promoting their products. As far as I am concerned,
schools
 should be a space of education and freedom of
choice
 where influences cannot take
place
.
Firstly
, it is important to note that, when it comes to education, there should be no exception for
this
 practices.
Although
 financiation is needed, it cannot be at cost of decission
choice
.
Also
, scholars acquire the habits taught in school, which are now influenced by external businesses.
Hence
, the education might be lacking the initial scope, which is to think freely and make up a personal opinion,
while
 learning general knowledge.
On the other hand
, talking about influencing
students
, the habit of eating fact that fast food, among others, is taught daily.
Due to
this
 major concern, many health problems might be developed in the future. Well-being must be the most important duty
students
 are bound to pursuit. As long as junk food is among
schools
, it would be no longer a safe
place
 to learn.
To conclude
,
schools
 must foster racional and uninfluenced thinking. By forcing
students
 to acquire detrimental habits, there won't be a
place
 of learning anymore. -Idea 1: Freedom of
choice
 -Idea 2: Fast food are badly influencing youngers Conclusion:
Submitted by dar.rodriguez.ramos on

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task achievement
The introduction clearly establishes the topic and viewpoint, which is a positive aspect of your task response.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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