In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

There is no doubt that there are many people who sift

lot

Suggestion

a lot

of efforts to excel in education and occupation. They believe, by doing hard work only, there is a possibility to get recognition in terms of appraisals and academic scores and it is a good to prove oneself as efficient. To embark on, people who give their best so that they can be rewarded and meet the expectations in order to obtain required marks in exams.

This

is because there is no shortcut of getting

sucsess

an event that accomplishes its intended purpose

success

sources

sizes

other than making

lot

Suggestion

lots

of efforts.

Additionally

, it will make them unique amongst all of their competitors.

For instance

, there are many people in my organisation who spend sleepless nights just because of getting

good

Suggestion

better

progression in their career.

In contrast

, no efforts or less might lead them to be

lagged

Suggestion

lagging

behind in their life.

Moreover

, Efforts

usually returns

Suggestion

usually return

positive results, the reason of

this

is there would be some learning from one's attempts, if made to fulfil an objective either in

competetive

involving competition or competitiveness

competitive

examinations or in

office

Suggestion

the office

and the efficacy of

such

people would improve.

For instance

, people learn from their mistakes

manier

mean or intend to express or convey

meaner

times and these mistakes are nothing but a result of the efforts made to achieve some goal. In conclusion, working hard is one of the

bset

(superlative of 'good') having the most positive qualities

best

way

Suggestion

ways

to meet an objective for many

people which

Accept comma addition

people, which

in turn would add feather in cap to

themselves

objective case of they

them

. The productivity of people will be enhanced by making efforts,

hence

it is really beneficial for one's growth.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Genetic predisposition
Work ethic
Upbringing
Cultural values
Ambitions
Motivated
Fear of failure
Competitive nature
Overworking
Burnout
Stress-related health issues
Productivity
Quality of life
Healthy balance
Long-term productivity

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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilitates than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. Agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?