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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interaction. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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 day and age, modern
technology
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 has an effective role in our daily life.
This
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 can even be seen in
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
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 behaviour. Whether
technology
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 helps
people
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 be more sociable is supported and refuted by many.
This
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 essay will analyse both sides of
this
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 argument before declaring a position. On the one hand, many
people
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 believe that social
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 is decreased in terms of the use of
technology
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. Take teenagers as an example. Nowadays, young individuals learn to use social
media
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 since they are so young.
As a consequence
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 of using social platforms, they find new friends from every part of the world. It might be seen as a good result.
However
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,
according to
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 a new questionnaire by an American university, these young
people
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 do not want to be in The real world or make friends since they think their social relations on social
media
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 are enough.
Whereas
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, not being in the real world can have a huge negative impact on their behaviour and mental health.
Hence
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, it makes it clear how
technology
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 can damage our social life.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that
technology
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 plays a positive role in our behaviour. Take shy and introverted
people
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,
for instance
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. Generally, communicating is one of the most difficult tasks for these types of
people
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.
However
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, interestingly, they are talkative on social
media
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 and can improve their social relations through the internet.
Therefore
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,
this
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 shows how
technology
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 can help
people
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 do difficult work easily. In summary, there has always been a debate between the two sides of
this
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 argument regarding the influence of
technology
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 on our way of acting. Personally, as a shy and introverted person, I am a fan of
technology
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 and social
media
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. Eventually, we should consider both sides of
technology
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 and try to reduce its negative effects.

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task achievement
Ensure your essay maintains a consistent focus and doesn't lose track of the core issue. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas to enhance readability and coherence. Try to ensure each paragraph smoothly leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the behavior of teenagers and introverted individuals, were well incorporated to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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