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Band 6.5

Some people think that modern technology has enhanced sociable behaviour, but others think it has reduced social interaction. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology #behaviour #interaction
In
this
 day and age, modern
technology
 has an effective role in our daily life.
This
 can even be seen in
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
 behaviour. Whether
technology
 helps
people
 be more sociable is supported and refuted by many.
This
 essay will analyse both sides of
this
 argument before declaring a position. On the one hand, many
people
 believe that social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is decreased in terms of the use of
technology
. Take teenagers as an example. Nowadays, young individuals learn to use social
media
 since they are so young.
As a consequence
 of using social platforms, they find new friends from every part of the world. It might be seen as a good result.
However
,
according to
 a new questionnaire by an American university, these young
people
 do not want to be in The real world or make friends since they think their social relations on social
media
 are enough.
Whereas
, not being in the real world can have a huge negative impact on their behaviour and mental health.
Hence
, it makes it clear how
technology
 can damage our social life.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
technology
 plays a positive role in our behaviour. Take shy and introverted
people
,
for instance
. Generally, communicating is one of the most difficult tasks for these types of
people
.
However
, interestingly, they are talkative on social
media
 and can improve their social relations through the internet.
Therefore
,
this
 shows how
technology
 can help
people
 do difficult work easily. In summary, there has always been a debate between the two sides of
this
 argument regarding the influence of
technology
 on our way of acting. Personally, as a shy and introverted person, I am a fan of
technology
 and social
media
. Eventually, we should consider both sides of
technology
 and try to reduce its negative effects.
Submitted by axel00lee on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay maintains a consistent focus and doesn't lose track of the core issue. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas to enhance readability and coherence. Try to ensure each paragraph smoothly leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the behavior of teenagers and introverted individuals, were well incorporated to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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