Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a common belief amongst a few individuals that kids attitude can be best
molded
shaped to fit by or as if by altering the contours of a pliable mass (as by work or effort)
moulded
at a youthful
age
, while others are of an opinion that kids are better
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
with more liberty. I believe both control and freedom should be balanced together when it comes to raising children the upcoming essay
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
will shed more light on both views. Children are like an empty vase at a tender
age
. What ever we teach them they learn & believe without a
second
thought. As they grow up they are no longer as close to us as they were before,
hence
they learn more from
outside
Accept comma addition
outside, then
outside than
then
from home, which can be either be good or bad depending on the community and society we live in.It becomes quite difficult for parents to
mold
form in clay, wax, etc
mould
them towards the right direction once they have been exposed to the outer world like high school & college.
For
example i
Accept comma addition
example, I
example I
was controlled and disciplined by my parents from an early
age
.That has changed my
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
and made me a
gentlemen
Suggestion
gentleman
.
On the other
hand when
Accept comma addition
hand, when
kids are given freedom at an early
age they
Accept comma addition
age, they
can no longer control
themselves nor
Accept comma addition
themselves, nor
can
the
people in general
they
then
distinguish between good and bad.
Such
kids fall prey of bad habits and destroy their childhood. As they become
adults they
Accept comma addition
adults, they
are limitless and have no respect for their elders nor do they possess feelings for anything.
for
Suggestion
For
example a much recent survey done by the US child services on the inmates of Texas county jail proved that they were either neglected by their parents as a child and they were given the freedom to do
what ever
one or some or every or all without specification
whatever
they desired when they were kids. Which destroyed them in their adulthood. To
conclude it
Accept comma addition
conclude, it
is always a good idea to control
kids
Suggestion
kids'
attitude from
a
Suggestion
an
early
age
rather than give them a free hand.
Otherwise they
Accept comma addition
Otherwise, they
will end up as a burden to the society by not fitting in.I am of the opinion that parents are the best teachers & preachers for their children when done right at an early
age
.
Submitted by Faisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: