IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries in terms of aid for health care and education. To what extend do you agree?

Provision of assistance by wealthy
nations
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 to
nations
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 that are not wealthy, in terms of health and
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education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 is necessary. Some
people
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 and I are of the opinion that rich
countries
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 should assist poor
countries
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due to
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 the inherent advantages of doing so.
This
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 will be explained
further
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. There are many reasons why wretched
nations
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 need
assistance
Correct article usage
the assistance
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 of rich ones, one of
such
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 is in the area of health care. Provisions of
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 to these
nations
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 will help in fighting deadly
diseases
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.
For example
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,
Ebola
Correct article usage
the Ebola
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outbreak
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 in Nigeria in 2015. Nigeria was able to defeat the
diseases
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 with support from
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as the USA and the UK. The timely intervention of these giant
countries
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 helped eradicate Ebola in Nigeria, thereby preventing a deadly
outbreak
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 of the
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diseases
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disease
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which
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, which
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 could have killed millions of
people
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 in the country. The
outbreak
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 could have
also
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 spread to other
countries
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including
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, including
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 these two big
countries
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as
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, as
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people
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 are always travelling from one part of the world to
the other
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another
show examples
. Another area where rich
countries
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 need to support poor
countries
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 is in
education
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.
Education
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 helps in liberating
people
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 and empowering
nationalities
Correct article usage
the nationalities
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 of these
nations
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.
For example
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, it is only when
people
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 are educated that they will be able to use new inventions
such
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 as telephones, cars, laptops, television
e.t.c
Punctuation problem
, e.t.c
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. that are manufactured by the rich
nation
Punctuation problem
nation,
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 thereby creating new markets for
such
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 products.
This
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 will
also
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 help in improving their economy. In conclusion, I believe that helping poor
countries
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 in terms of health and
education
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 will help prevent
Use synonyms
outbreak
Fix the agreement mistake
outbreaks
show examples
 of deadly
diseases
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 and
also
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 create more markets for companies of these rich
countries
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.

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planning
Plan what you will write before you start.
structure
Make a short intro that states your view clearly.
structure
Begin each paragraph with a clear main idea sentence.
development
Add more detail for each point so the idea is well explained.
grammar
Check your word use and fix big grammar mistakes.
fact-check
Check the facts in your examples and keep to fact you know.
strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
strength
You use a real example to back your point.
structure
The plan of two big ideas is there, and you have a end.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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