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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #science #qualifications #people #two #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
science
Use synonyms
 qualifications in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and Singapore.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries show a decreasing rate of
science
Use synonyms
 qualifiers up to
master’s
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of
science
Use synonyms
 qualifications in
master’s
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 outraces Singapore in no
science
Use synonyms
 qualification at all. In
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Add a comma
,Malaysia
show examples
 around 65 %
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 do not opt for
science
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 leaving exams in
Science
Use synonyms
 are qualified by 35%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, less number of
students
Use synonyms
 go for higher studies with a percentage of about 20% for
Bachelor’s
Correct article usage
a Bachelor’s
show examples
Degree
Use synonyms
 reaching a low point of about 3.5% for
Use synonyms
Master’s
Correct article usage
a Master’s
show examples
Degree
Use synonyms
. Singapore houses around 60%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 no interest in
science
Use synonyms
 qualifications.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 30%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 choose
science
Use synonyms
 in school leaving exams, only 20%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 qualify bachelor’s
degree
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 country
also
Linking Words
 contains less than 4 %
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who pass out with
Use synonyms
master’s
Correct article usage
a master’s
show examples
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 just as in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Pawan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words science, malaysia, master’s, degree, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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