Some people think that watching sports in one’s free time is just waste of time. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people hold the opinion that it is

such

a waste of free

time

to watch sport. I disagree with

this

view. In my opinion, watching sports can enhance bonding within communities and promote a healthier lifestyle among individuals. Watching sport on television or from the gallery is an opportunity for people to come together and cheer for their team. Fans watching the game together may have

different status

Suggestion

a different status

in life and they may endorse different religious beliefs or political ideologies.

However

, when they watch the game, they have only one concern in the world and

that is

to see their team

emerge

Suggestion

emerges

victorious. Obviously, sporting events bring people closer and help them forget their differences. When their team wins an international match, it is celebration

time

for all of them. Sports even ignite patriotic feelings in people. Community bonding is not the only benefit of watching sports. When people watch their favourite

sportspersons

in action, they feel encouraged to stay fit and live a healthier life. Teenagers,

in particular

, adore sporting heroes and want to emulate their lifestyle. Needless to say, people who watch sports matches regularly tend to live physically active lives. They are

also

healthier.

For example

, a recent study showed that there was a 30% increase in gym memberships during the recently held World Cup Football championship.

By contrast

, watching other television shows or engaging in other activities during free

time

does not produce

this

effect.

This

is because the content is less inspiring and it does not motivate people to change their lifestyle.

Thus

, it is evident that watching sports in free

time

motivates people to engage in physical activity and live healthier lives. To conclude, watching sports is not a waste of

time

. It promotes stronger bonding within communities and leaves a positive impact on people by encouraging them to pursue a healthy way of life.

Submitted by Sometimes people think nowadays the media (TV, newspaper) are less concerned about the accuracy of news than in the past, and the incorrect information may cause more problem to the public? on Sat Jul 06 2019

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

stress reduction
communal activity
unwind
enhance
social bonds
determination
inspire
motivate
productive
sedentary lifestyle
personal development
excessive consumption

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