IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think that children should be given freedom do whatever they want or parents should impose restrictions.

Young people enjoy living
freely but
Accept comma addition
freely, but
 mothers and fathers should enforce a level of limitation in certain activities their children engage in. It has been rightly said - “ catch them young”.
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Therefore allowing
Accept comma addition
Therefore, allowing
 children
do
Suggestion
to do
 what they want will eventually give rise to morally bankrupt children and in turn cause several problems to the
society
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. These problems that arise from letting kids do what they want will be delved into in
this
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 essay. When a child is morally loose, the
society
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 blames the parents for giving him so much freedom. Failure to limit certain things done by kids will negatively
affects
Suggestion
affect
 them
on
Suggestion
in
 the long run. They will exercise
these
denotes a person or thing
this
 right to do whatever they want in every aspect of their
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, if they are let to mingle with whoever they want, without being guided by their parents, they may have friends that are not morally upright.
Consequently
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, these friends will pollute them eventually.
Finally
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, it is believed that parents have been through so much in
life
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 and have gained experience in various aspects of
life
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.
Therefore
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, they should
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavour
 to help their wards make proper choices in
life
Use synonyms
. The
society
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 will be at risk if children from the aforementioned homes
finally
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 become adults. These young adults will become problematic to the
society
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 because they lack control and have always done what they wanted right from time.
Therefore
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, children who are left to live freely pose a threat to the
society
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 and subsequent generations as
this
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 method of raising kids will be passed on. In conclusion, children are minors and adequate attention should be given to their day to day activities so as to make them more responsible
to
Suggestion
for
 their family and to
they
of them or themselves
their
society
Use synonyms
 in turn.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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