IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In many countries smoking in now illegal in public places. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places
It is argued that smoking is being
be
Suggestion
being
 banned in common
places particularly
Accept comma addition
places, particularly
 in bus stops, shopping malls in many parts of the world.
This
 essay agrees with the statement because it affects the passive smokers and considered as bad behaviour.
To begin
 with, usage of cigarettes in public places impacts the people who do not smoke.
In other words
, It causes health problems, especially respiratory issues not only to smokers but
also
 to by-passers.
For example
, the foetus of the pregnant mother
have
Suggestion
has
 detrimental effects in places like parks, malls. Another point
to
Suggestion
of
 emphasis on the anti-social
behaviour it
Accept comma addition
behaviour, it
 brings to the society.
This
 is to say that it persuades teenagers to do the same, which will make them chain-smokers eventually.
For instance
, in a fun-filled challenge competition conducted in Central Vietnam, approximately 60% of young adults enthusiastically participated in the event. In conclusion, smoking impacts not only the person who
smoke
Suggestion
smokes
 but
also
 the passive smokers and it signs as a bad behaviour in the community.
Therefore
, I agree that smoking should be banned in public places.
Submitted by JAYASHREE on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: