Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #development

In recent years, shopping

has become favourite

Suggestion

has become a favourite

pass

time

for most millennials. Youngsters can be seen in malls and markets all over the weekends.

Steep decrease

Suggestion

The steep decrease

in prices of consumer goods, and

easy

Suggestion

ease

of availability are the top contributors of

this

trend. Conventional leisure activities like playing sports, pursuing hobbies, family get

togethers

in contact with each other or in proximity

together

have taken a seat back. One of the most common

reason

Suggestion

reasons

for

this

is excessive commercialization. Hoardings and advertisements can be seen everywhere. Digital marketing strategies have made it easier to find

target audience

Suggestion

a target audience

the target audience

target audiences

. Modes of shopping have expanded from just in-person shopping to online shopping.

In addition

this

, an unseen reason for

this

change is peer pressure. Recent studies reveal that most people under the age group of thirty go shopping without any actual motive of buying. Lucrative discount offers trap customers into buying without making them realize the extra burden on their pockets. Because of

this

, youngsters are missing on

fun

Suggestion

the fun

from activities like swimming, sports, watching movies, playing around with friends in free

time

. The pleasure of experiences is being replaced by pleasure of things, which is short term.

As a result

, most children face health issues, depression and decreased productivity in work places. In conclusion, shopping as an activity should be carried out when needed. It should not take of a pass

time

endeavour. Youngsters should spend their spare

time

on things that provide relaxation and rest. One should definitely replace

shopping

Suggestion

the shopping

without need with other activities of greater benefits.

Submitted by nchugh12 on Mon Jul 08 2019

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

248 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job.On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What are the reasons for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?