In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary world,
women
Use synonyms
continue to work shoulder-to-shoulder with men in most countries. I strongly agree with
this
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notion, as employment of both genders not only improves their work-life balance but
also
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contributes to the financial growth of the family.
To begin
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with, in the past, it was believed that men and
women
Use synonyms
were breadwinners and homemakers, respectively. Today,
this
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idea has been replaced with the both genders representatives` in the workforce.
Furthermore
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, females are standing equally with males in almost every field, from education, astronomy, engineering, medicine , to politics , and they have proven that they are just as capable as men. The contribution of females to the workforce helps to reduce the financial burden of the family , and parents will be able to overcome the hectic harmony between work and personal life.
Moreover
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, introducing
women
Use synonyms
to pursue their careers has encouraged a sense of satisfaction and inspiration.
For example
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, parents` awareness of balanced distribution of household responsibilities and domestic chores, as
women
Use synonyms
have many more responsibilities ,
such
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as caring family and raising children, alongside their jobs. So, fathers will have more emotional connections with their family members by caring about them, in cases of wives` illness or absence.
Furthermore
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, there is a benefit in encouraging the children to develop teamwork and contribution skills.
This
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helps break down traditional gender stereotypes and encourages a more equal and inclusive mindset in future generations.
To sum up
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, it is logical that both genders have equal rights in terms of occupation in various fields. Employment of males and females will have beneficial effects for the development of the coming generations economically and mentally.

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structure
Your view is clear. Some parts have long lines. Try to keep each idea short and use one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Fix small grammar and word form. Some words are not in the right or cause confusion.
coherence
Use simple link words to join ideas: and, but, also, in addition to
content
Add a short, clear example for each key idea to show it well.
structure
End with a short line that restates your view.
content
You give a strong view and you back it with many points.
content
You show how work and life can fit in a family.
structure
Introduction and conclusion exist and tell the reader your aim.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • share
  • split
  • housework
  • chores
  • full-time
  • fair
  • equal
  • partner
  • man
  • woman
  • time
  • plan
  • discuss
  • schedule
  • divide
  • care
  • children
  • family
  • help
  • support
  • work
  • job
  • money
  • stress
  • mood
  • life
  • habit
  • idea
  • culture
  • rule
  • change
  • possible
  • better
  • skill
  • prefer
  • balance
  • day
  • week
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