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Writing Samples
Band 5

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individually and on society?

#people #countries #effect #society
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In the recent years in many countries, many people
has been sleeping
Suggestion
have been sleeping
 lesser than before. A healthy sleeping
duration
Use synonyms
 is from 6 to 8
hours but
Accept comma addition
hours, but
this
Linking Words
 not been achieved by most of the working adults. Insomnia is referred to someone who has
sleeping
Suggestion
slept
 difficulty and unable to fall asleep resulted in sleeping lesser than required. There are many reasons for people to sleep less than the required
duration
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
, stress from
work
Use synonyms
maybe
Suggestion
may be
 a huge factor.
This
Linking Words
 may happen when someone faced a
difficulty
Suggestion
difficult
 to solve a problem, unable to meet project deadline, made a huge mistake which
may resulted
Suggestion
may result
 in loss of
work
Use synonyms
, demotion and so on. Apart from
work
Use synonyms
, stress from family could
also
Linking Words
 be another factor when both husband and wife had
financial difficulty to meet
Suggestion
a financial difficulty meeting
financial difficulty meeting
 ends need.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many people
has been
Suggestion
have been
 busy fulfilling their night life with various schedules
such
Linking Words
 as networking event,
social outgoing
Accept comma addition
social, outgoing
, clubbing and all these night life will lead to
insufficent
of a quantity not able to fulfill a need or requirement
insufficient
 sleeping time. Having insufficient sleep can have
impact
Suggestion
an impact
 on both
individually
Suggestion
individuals
individual
 and society. Someone with insufficient sleep will not be productive at
work
Use synonyms
 and resulted in low
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency. Our brain will not be able to function well and our thinking and reaction to questions will be slower. The recommended sleep
duration
Use synonyms
 of 6 to 8 hours per day is to allow our body to rest and at the same time, it serves as
auto-recovery
Suggestion
an auto - recovery
 for our body to heal and increase
immune system
Suggestion
the immune system
. Without sufficient rest, we may be able to fall sick easily. The impact on society cannot be neglected too. Accidents on the road may increase when road users fell asleep while driving and resulted with unwanted injuries and casualties. People may tend to quarrel more when they didn't have enough sleep and resulted in weak harmonization in the society. In conclusion, sufficient sleep
duration
Use synonyms
 is important to maintain a healthy life and increase
work
Use synonyms
 productivity. All adults shall aim to achieve a minimum sleep of at least 6 to 8 hours per day to allow our body to rest after a whole
day
Suggestion
day's
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by venny on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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