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Band 5

In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or bad thing ?

#countries #children #school #law #work
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In some countries, like in Israel
for example
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, children are obligated to remain in
school
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 until the age of 16.
Although
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 some believe that students should remain within the
education
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 system until they
recieve
get something; come into possession of
receive
 a formal diploma, others think teenage children should have the
posibility
a future prospect or potential
possibility
 to leave
school
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 and get a full-time work. Despite the obvious disadvantages of leaving
school
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 at an early age, in my opinion forcing children to remain within the
education
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 system will cause more harm than benefit to the child and the surrounding students.
Atending
Suggestion
Attending
school
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assist
Suggestion
assists
 the students in many ways.
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First it
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First, it
give
Suggestion
gives
 the child a safe and structured environment to grow in.
Second
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, it teaches valuable tools
such
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 as mathematics, biology and chemistry and
as a result
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 the child's
intelect
knowledge and intellectual ability
intellect
intellectual
interest
 may grow and expand.
Lastly
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, it
serve
Suggestion
serves
 as a foundation of knowledge
uppon
in contact with, on top of
upon
 which children may go and
perssue
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
pursue
peruse
 a higher academic
education
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.
Unfortunatelty
Suggestion
Unfortunately
, most of the formal
education
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 systems do not teach students manual professions
such
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 as mechanics and carpentry and many children, especially those who come from a lower socioeconomic do not gain the required tools in order to gain a job later in life. By preventing children to leave
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school we
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school, we
 may harm the development of our children, both those who remain in schools as well as those who do not. The amount of time and effort which will be required
from
Suggestion
for
 the teachers to keep students
whithin
internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of
within
 the formal system will come
on
Suggestion
at
 the expense of those who
whish
hope for; have a wish
wish
wished
wishes
 to remain in it.
Also
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, those who do not wish to remain in
school
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 will
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 valuable time which could be wisely spent in working and earning money. In conclusion, preventing
stuents
a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution
students
 from leaving
school
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 in
persuit
the act of pursuing in an effort to overtake or capture
pursuit
 of a full-time work will have a
negetive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
 effect on all
choldren
a young person of either sex
children
 and should not be advocated.
Submitted by chilafp on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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