In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or bad thing ?

#countries #children #school #law #work

In some countries, like in Israel

for example

, children are obligated to remain in

school

until the age of 16.

Although

some believe that students should remain within the

education

system until they

recieve

get something; come into possession of

receive

a formal diploma, others think teenage children should have the

posibility

a future prospect or potential

possibility

to leave

school

and get a full-time work. Despite the obvious disadvantages of leaving

school

at an early age, in my opinion forcing children to remain within the

education

system will cause more harm than benefit to the child and the surrounding students.

Atending

Suggestion

Attending

school

assist

Suggestion

assists

the students in many ways.

First it

Accept comma addition

First, it

give

Suggestion

gives

the child a safe and structured environment to grow in.

Second

, it teaches valuable tools

such

as mathematics, biology and chemistry and

as a result

the child's

intelect

knowledge and intellectual ability

intellect

intellectual

interest

may grow and expand.

Lastly

, it

serve

Suggestion

serves

as a foundation of knowledge

uppon

in contact with, on top of

upon

which children may go and

perssue

carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in

pursue

peruse

a higher academic

education

Unfortunatelty

Suggestion

Unfortunately

, most of the formal

education

systems do not teach students manual professions

such

as mechanics and carpentry and many children, especially those who come from a lower socioeconomic do not gain the required tools in order to gain a job later in life. By preventing children to leave

school we

Accept comma addition

school, we

may harm the development of our children, both those who remain in schools as well as those who do not. The amount of time and effort which will be required

from

Suggestion

for

the teachers to keep students

whithin

internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of

within

the formal system will come

Suggestion

the expense of those who

whish

hope for; have a wish

wish

wished

wishes

to remain in it.

Also

, those who do not wish to remain in

school

will

loose

fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense

lose

valuable time which could be wisely spent in working and earning money. In conclusion, preventing

stuents

a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution

students

from leaving

school

persuit

the act of pursuing in an effort to overtake or capture

pursuit

of a full-time work will have a

negetive

characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features

negative

effect on all

choldren

a young person of either sex

children

and should not be advocated.

Submitted by chilafp on Thu Jul 11 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or bad thing ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Living in a house is more advantageous than living in an apartment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?