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Writing Samples
Band 5

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price
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A lot of people are of the opinion, that even though, the
life
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 of film and music celebrities appear to be full of stars and glitters from the outside, but, from the inside, the real
life
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 of these people is really sad.
This
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 essay agrees with the opinion stated above and will
first
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 discuss the real
life
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that is
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 pursued by these celebrities and
then
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 will delve into the bargain that these people make to live a
celebrity
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life
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. Even though the
life
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 of a film or music star appears to be
extravagent
unrestrained, especially with regard to feelings
extravagant
 from the outside, in reality, they do not live a happy
life
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.
This
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 can be seen from the fact that big celebrities around the world have been found to be heavily dependent on drugs, as the substance helps them in escaping the sadness of their personal
life
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.
For example
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, multiple celebrities
such
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 as Bob Marley, Britney Spears,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 have been to
diagnosed
Suggestion
diagnose
 due to drug overdose over the past few years. Drugs not only help these people to cope up with the harsh realities that exist in their personal
life
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, but
also
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, in
maintaing
Suggestion
maintaining
maintain
 the
celebrity
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 image in front of the crowd.
Furthermore
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, not being happy in their personal
life
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 is the price that they have to pay to live the
celebrity
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life
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. Being a
celebrity
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 entails being on public display 24*7, which makes it almost impossible to have a personal
life
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 and since they are not able to devote any time to their personal
life
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,
hence
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, they are unhappy
in
Suggestion
with
 their real
life
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. To sum up, the
illustrous
widely known and esteemed
illustrious
life
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that is
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 displayed by the film and music celebrities from the outside, is full of
saddness
emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
sadness
 from the inside and these people have to pay
this
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 price to maintain their
celebrity
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 status in front of the world.
Submitted by Shikhar Johar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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