Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages.

#students #jobs #studies

Nowadays, students are good at maintaining a balance between

study

and

work

Therefore

, during

study they

Suggestion

the study, they

the study they

prefer part-time

work

in restaurants, cafes and so on.

This

essay will discuss

benefits

Suggestion

the benefits

and drawbacks of

this

trend and show that, indeed, part-time

work

during

study

Suggestion

the study

is superior. There are numerous advantages of part-time

work

during studies. By working with

study they

Suggestion

a study, they

a study they

can earn money. They can use

this

money for their expenses and do not need to take money from parents.

For instance

, in Australia, a majority of students are working in hotels, cafes and bars

to fill

Suggestion

fill

their university fees.

In addition

to it, during

work

they will meet with like-minded people minded of their interest and would exchange their thoughts.

This

interest can boost their knowledge and improve their communication skills.

This

can helpful in

job interview

Suggestion

a job interview

job interviews

the job interview

. Overall, daily expenses and interaction with people during

work

is advantageous. Despite these

advantages it

Accept comma addition

advantages, it

has some drawbacks as well. Students will have to face

distraction

Suggestion

the distraction

with their studies. As a consequence, they will feel depression during examination and may receive poor results. To exemplify it, in newspaper we came across suicide news about students due to stress. What is more, students will feel

seclusion

Suggestion

the seclusion

as they will not have time to spend with family. Due to

this

they feel

isolation

Suggestion

isolated

and depressed. In short, destruction

from

Suggestion

study

and loneliness destruction from

study

Suggestion

the study

studies

are the main disadvantages.

This

essay discussed

way

Suggestion

ways

the way

in which part-time

work

can affect

study

Suggestion

the study

of students. In my opinion,

although

there are disadvantages associated with part-time

work

, the advantages clearly outweigh them.

Submitted by sandhuboy70 on Fri Jul 12 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages than disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you agree with gun possession to protect people?

Some poeple say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place.

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, other claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give you own opinion.