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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, people have health issues because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. What do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved ?

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The rising incidence of chronic
illnessess
impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism
illnesses
illness
 associated with
unhealthy
Suggestion
an unhealthy way
way
Use synonyms
 of living,
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and high blood pressure, is a growing concern in many countries. In recent years much
affort
earnest and conscientious activity intended to do or accomplish something
effort
 is being put in
order
Use synonyms
 to
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 why people still maintain
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of living and how can it be changed in
order
Use synonyms
 to prevent the development of diseases. Many reasons may
acount
a record or narrative description of past events
account
 why people still refuse to change certain aspects of their lives,
although
Linking Words
 they are well
infromd
having much knowledge or education
informed
 of the risks associated with it.
For example
Linking Words
, changes in diet and eating
habbits
an established custom
habits
 may be
dificult
not easy; requiring great physical or mental effort to accomplish or comprehend or endure
difficult
 to some due to time restrains. People prefer to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 and
snaks
a light informal meal
snacks
 on their
way
Use synonyms
 to work rather than spending time cooking a healthy meal at home.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the high costs of good quality
food
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables and low fat
food
Use synonyms
 may
further
Linking Words
 explain why people still consume unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, social pressure
emphesized
spoken with emphasis
emphasized
emphasize
emphasised
 and marketed through online media
such
Linking Words
 as
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 and
instagram
Suggestion
,
also
Linking Words
 explain why people still consume alcohol and smoke. Despite that, several changes may be performed in
order
Use synonyms
 to educate people and change their lifestyle.
Initially
Linking Words
, government
subsedised
having partial financial support from public funds
subsidized
 programs to equalize healthy
food
Use synonyms
 costs is
crusial
of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis
crucial
crucially
 so people will change their
food
Use synonyms
 intake.
Also
Linking Words
, improving
food
Use synonyms
 quality in work places will
further
Linking Words
 ensure a healthy meal. Increasing taxes on unhealthy beverages,
such
Linking Words
 as
cocca
United States comedienne who starred in early television shows with Sid Caesar (1908-2001)
Coca
coca
cocoa
colla
large genus of African trees bearing kola nuts
Cola
cola
, as well as
cigarrettes
finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking
cigarettes
cigarette
 is
also
Linking Words
 a vital step in changing people's lifestyle.
Finally
Linking Words
, strict control on social media and television to prevent publications of
harmfull
causing or capable of causing harm
harmful
 materials should be
emplyed
having your services engaged for; or having a job especially one that pays wages or a salary
employed
implied
. In conclusion, primary prevention in the form of changing the
way
Use synonyms
 we live and eat is of the utmost importance in
order
Use synonyms
 to prevent chronic diseases and should be strongly supported.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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