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Band 7.5

These days people pay more attention to artists (writers, painters and so on) and give less importance to science and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #artists #writers #painters #importance #science #technology
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People have different views as to whether arts or science and
technology
 should attract more public attention. While I believe the achievements of artists should be recognized, the significance of science and
technology
 should not be overlooked. On the one hand, artists acquire positive publicity thanks to their gifts and contributions. Their prominence and unique talents are the reasons why they are usually in a blaze of publicity, allowing them to have beneficial impacts on the mindsets of people.
For example
, Ho Quang Hieu, a legendary Vietnamese singer and
also
 a philanthropist, who donated half of his wealth to charity, is a perfect example for
this
. Without these musicians, singers, and writers, the world would develop into no more than a dull, tedious, and selfish society.
On the other hand
, I believe that science and
technology
 are conducive the development of modern applications. Thanks to relentless advances in
technology
, electronic devices
such
 as mobile phones, computers, and tablets have assisted business-to-business communication and computerized the mechanism of storing of information. It is clear that the world’s population will experience a productivity boost that will result in an overall increase in life satisfaction. In the scientific setting, scientific research is an indispensable part of medical research.
For example
, the development of robotic surgeons has paved the way for a promising future of flawless surgery. With the advent of all the sophisticated machines above, humans are revolutionizing multiple facets of our life. In conclusion, I concur with the idea that
although
 artists are essential to the society, scientific and technological research is worth investing in as well.
Submitted by c.robrien2410 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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